RAGE, RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE SIGNAL

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Sanford Herskovitz, better known on the East Side as Mister Brisket, sometimes tells stories in his e-mails to customers*. We had to share this one:

At roughly 4:30pm on September 10, the stupidest customer in the history of Mister Brisket contacted me at the shop. It began with a cell phone call. I answered and a voice expressed interest in a corned beef sandwich. Then there was dead air. Within a few seconds the phone rang again with the same result. After several similar incidents — I’d answer, the phone would cut off, I’d hang up — I decided to call the cell phone rather than vice versa. Using our infamous “S.Felsen” line — not our business phone — I dialed the cell number on our caller ID. No one answered. But as soon as I hung up, the phone rang and it was my erstwhile customer. This time we were able to communicate for several seconds. He wanted to know if we were still making deliveries. I said it was too late but that he could pick up a sandwich. Then more dead air. The phone rang again. “I want to pick up a sandwich” — then dead air.

I was astonished that someone with a malfunctioning cell phone would keep using it. I tried to get a few words in each time the phone rang over the next few minutes. “Use a different phone” I’d advise but there was always dead air after I answered. After at least a dozen attempts at a conversation, I decided to no longer answer — but he kept calling from his malfunctioning cell phone.

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