Localities here and across the nation are opening their wallets to find a note: "Break piggy bank in case of emergency." Then they go to the piggy bank, smash it with a hammer, and discover nothing but three Skittles and a $5-off coupon for Suzy Orman's "Young, Fabulous, and Broke" DVD.
Where will the relief come from? How about Reader's Digest?
The mag's had an ongoing contest since last year called, "We Hear You America." (Probably because they turned their hearing aid on.) 100 communities were selected via a vote — no word on if it was conducted by carrier pigeon, by pony express, or whether readers voted before or after they finished reading the latest issue of Parade — and the publication rewarded the winners with checks to "provide support to Americans and their hometowns that have been hurt by recession."
Mentor and Euclid were among the winners, so Reader's Digest rolled through town in their fancy "We Hear You America" camper-van to doll out the bounty. The haul: $1000. Hey, don't laugh, that sum effectively doubles the discretionary funding of most towns these days.