Stephen Colbert Gives Dennis Kucinich One More Reason to Drop Out

Last week, rumors swirled that America's Most American American, Stephen Colbert, would soon be announce his bid for presidency. Asked by Jon Stewart on The Daily Show whether this was true, Colbert responded that he would address the rumors on a much more “prestigious” program. Mere seconds later, at 11:30 pm, Colbert announced on his own show that, yes, he was running for president – on both tickets. His platform is sort of hard to nail down, though he tried to clarify it a bit on Sunday’s 30-minute Meet the Press interview, with Tim Russert. One thing supporters know for sure is that Colbert is very much opposed to Georgia’s being nicknamed the “Peach State.” South Carolina, he contends, grows much tastier peaches. Also he’s kind of worried about Chinese shrimp imports. Today, an official Republican polling firm came out with contender statistics. And Colbert, the survey found, is the first choice among 2.3 percent of the Democrats polled – eclipsing Gov. Bill Richardson (2.1 percent), former Sen. Mike Gravel (less than 1 percent), and America's Most American Sphinx, Dennis Kucinich (2.1 percent). When a fake person with a fake agenda and fake platforms out-polls an actual congressman, perhaps it’s time to consider withdrawing? We’re just saying … -- Rebecca Meiser
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