When Randy Lerner announced last year that he would sell the majority stake in the Cleveland Browns to Jimmy Haslam, Browns fans had a collective orgasm. It's our time! Things are going to change!
But things never change in Cleveland, do they? As proof, a short rundown of the calamitous, utterly predictable, and entirely Brownsy events that have transpired since the end of last season.
Jimmy Haslam and his company, Pilot Flying J, are under investigation by the FBI for a (alleged) massive rebate scam that Jimmy Haslam (allegedly) knew about.
Fresh free-agent linebacker Quentin Groves was arrested for soliciting a prostitute after being caught in a police sting.
Undrafted free agent Ausur Walcott was released from the team after being charged with attempted murder after punching a man who is now in critical condition.
Wide receiver Josh Gordon will serve a two-game penalty after failing a drug test.
The Browns' massively overblown announcement of a Bon Jovi concert to kick off the season at Browns Stadium is followed shortly by an announcement of a cancellation of said concert due to lackluster ticket sales.
