Your guide to living in fabulous Cleveland.
Doctoring the Books: MetroHealth reveals plan to offset massive debt by laying off 450 workers this fall. Hospital officials assure public that Sheila in hospitality services is a keeper — “and she knows her way around a first-aid kit.”
Garbage In, Garbage Out: Mayor Jackson returns from Japanese trip studying garbage-powered electricity for Cleveland. In a different time and a different place, this would have been Jimmy Dimora studying those vending machines that sell girls underpants.
Inside Voices, Please: Cleveland council members sponsor ordinance to limit live music levels in most venues to that of “unamplified acoustic instruments.” Companion ordinance would require all Cleveland businesses to sell only chai and clove cigarettes.
This Week's Index: Cheer up: The Browns are still 13 weeks away from postseason elimination.