The real Nativity Story

"Hi. My name's Gabriel. Are you Mary?" "I am." "I don't know if anyone has mentioned this, but you are going to become the mother of the son of God. He is going to be called Jesus Christ and he will be really, really famous." "WHAT??!! Are you crazy?" "No, it's true. You will be impregnated by the Holy Spirit." "WHAT???!!! "Wellllllll......what's he look like?" "No one knows." "You mean he wears a mask? Ooooooo, I like that. Kinda kinky." "No. No mask. He's invisible. They don't call him the Holy Spirit for nothing. You won't even know you are being impregnated. You won't feel a thing." "What??!!! You mean I'm supposed to carry this kid for nine months, change his nappies for three years, raise him, and I don't get even one orgasm out of the deal? "Also, how am I supposed to explain this to my boyfriend, Joseph? He's going to be really, really pissed." "Don't worry, Mary. You'll find the words to keep him from dumping you. Besides, you and Joseph will become really, really famous, too — just like your son. Artists will paint images of you with circles around your head that are called halos. This means you're a saint. And your pictures will be on holy cards in funeral parlors." "Wow. Can't ask for much more than that. "I'm game." -- Louis H. Pumphrey
Like this story?
SCENE Supporters make it possible to tell the Cleveland stories you won’t find elsewhere.
Become a supporter today.
Scroll to read more Cleveland News articles

Join Cleveland Scene Newsletters

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.