The Week When It Will Be Very Hot

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It was something like 90-degrees outside yesterday with a heat index over 100. We didn't notice — it's always the perfect temperature on a barstool with keno cards and a gin and tonic — but everyone else is talking about it.

Hot! It's going to be hot! Grab the children, hide them in the basement, douse yourself in ice, don't go by windows!

Ohio.com has an AP story on its front page today about the heat wave plaguing the Northeast. It contains the usual insightful, colorful weather commentary that keeps you coming back for more:

Walkers and drivers all seemed to be moving a little more slowly in the heat, which combined high humidity with clear sunny skies that made sidewalks hot and asphalt sticky.

''Why am I drinking hot coffee this morning? Because I'm crazy,'' paralegal Sharon Loven, 35, said with a laugh on her way to work after a long beach weekend that was still too brief for her liking.

Ha! Crazy indeed.

So expect local media outlets to churn out plenty of "It's hot!" pieces in the next few days, accompanied by some advice from the experts like: drink plenty of water, stay indoors, take breaks during activities, and stop shoveling the snow if you feel pain in your arm.

Expect all the weatherpeople to appropriately freak out during the news telecasts also, except for Dick Goddard, who is probably running a marathon shirtless while screaming, "This ain't hot, you pansies."

If you'd rather skip all that, feel free to join us for gin and keno.

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Vince Grzegorek

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.
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