To Ward Off Cimperman, Kucinich Makes Plea for Help

Early this morning, Dennis Kucinich channeled his inner-evangelist and released the above impassioned plea for cash. The once untouchable congressman apparently is feeling the heat from Councilman Joe Cimperman, his chief congressional foe. In a race Kucinich used to sleep-walk through, he’s practically begging for $1,000. Presuming you don't speak Kucinichese -- sadly, we accidentally learned long ago -- we've taken the time to translate his message: Dennis: Hi. I want to thank you for your support of our efforts to ... take America in a new direction, so we can have a government that we can truly call our own. Translation: Thanks for all that presidential-campaign cash, assorted Santa Cruz hippies and Hollywood types. It's really paying off. I'm as tan as ever! In connection with that, you know I’m running for re-election to the United States Congress, and I need your help to make sure that I stay in Congress. ...
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