It's dollar dog night at the Jake tonight, folks, as the Cleveland Indians take on the scrappy Twins of Minnesota, who are hot off a 3-game sweep of the White Sox.
And if an AL Central Division rivalry isn't enough to entice you to the ballpark, post-game festivities will include a Walt Disney-themed firework display. Did you hear that? A Walt Disney-themed fireworks display! To prelude said fireworks, we've done our best to imagine the current roster as beloved Disney princes.
These selections were based primarily on physical appearances, but a few connections were much more deeply existential. We can't say you'll agree with our decisions, but we can say that our decisions are perfect.
Finally, if Tom Hamilton references this list on this evening's broadcast, Scene will write a song, a la Disney, about anything Tom Hamilton desires.)
Here's your lineup:
1. Michael Bourn = Aladdin (Aladdin)
Bourn is typically "one jump" ahead of opposing catchers.
2. Jason Kipnis = Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid)
They're both sort of hunky and brotastic.
3. Asdrubal Cabrera = Li Shang (Mulan)
Agile. Muscular. Injury-prone.