Why We Might Not Be Going to Elyria Anytime Soon

Might have to strap beer to your belly if you want booze in Elyria.
  • Might have to strap beer to your belly if you want booze in Elyria.

Booze and Cleveland go together like, well... booze and Cleveland. Or maybe Jimmy Dimora and Hometown Buffet. Either way.

There's been a string of crime in Elyria and the city is blaming it on the bars that populate the downtown area and serve refreshing, crime-inducing alcohol to patrons. If the bars don't shape up, and soon, there's talk of Elyria going dry. Entries for "dry," as it pertains to alcohol, in the thesaurus include "boring" and "stupid."

The depressing details after the jump.

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