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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The ten worst movies of the year

Posted By on Wed, Dec 30, 2009 at 9:34 AM

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1. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Nearly as sickeningly indulgent and morally reprehensible as Michael Bay's last putrid sequel, Bad Boys. Notice I said, "nearly." Be thankful for small favors.

2. The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day If a not-terribly bright, sexually confused 13-year-old boy who had seen Pulp Fiction too many times wrote and directed a movie, this might be the result.

3. Old Dogs Makes the previous Walt Becker/John Travolta collaboration (2007's ho-hum Wild Hogs) seem like vintage Lubitsch or Wilder by comparison.

4. Gamer Even more cringe—and migraine—inducing than codirectors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor's other 2009 wankfest, Crank 2: High Voltage. Starring the currently ubiquitous (and well-nigh insufferable) Gerard Butler.

5. Planet 51 There were a lot of great animated films this year (see above), as well as plenty of bottom-feeders. This el-cheapo Sony throwaway was the worst of the lot.

6. The Ugly Truth I know that (romantic) comedy doesn't have to be pretty, but does it have to be so damn butt-"Ugly."

7. My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done Ostriches, midgets and a sinister bowl of Jell-O figure prominently in this whatzit? collaboration between (director) Werner Herzog and (producer) David Lynch. A career low for both veteran auteurs.

8. The Brothers Bloom Writer-director Rain (Brick) Johnson followed his superb 2005 high school noir "Brick" with a failed Wes Anderson homage that repeatedly hit the same note of arch whimsy. Even with its top-tier cast (including Mark Ruffalo and Oscar winners Adrien Brody and Rachel Weisz), this smarmy grifter farce failed on nearly every possible level.

9. Paranormal Activity The Emperor's New Clothes of horror flicks, this internet-driven phenom was akin to watching paint dry for 90 minutes. I guess P.T. Barnum was right.

10. The Hangover The most mean-spirited, thoroughly unpleasant comedy of the year was also one of its biggest hits. You know that a movie is in trouble when the most likable character is "Mike Tyson" (played by, er, Mike Tyson).

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