Support Local Journalism. Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Becky's Coffee Crisis

Posted By on Fri, Sep 22, 2006 at 11:20 AM

I've never been much of a coffee drinker (too much caffeine causes premature wrinkles -- yuck!). But a few weeks ago, after growing a tad sick of my watery (but super healthy!) green tea, I acquired a craving for an extra-large, iced, coconut-flavored coffee from Dunkin' Donuts. But where to get one? I racked my brain, trying to remember where the nearest Dunkin' Donuts might be. Then I remembered: After attending the Raconteurs concert at the House of Blues, I noticed the familiar, comforting pink logo and double-D lettering that signifies to all the world: Dunkin' Donuts. Iced, coconut, wrinkle-causing coffee -- here I come!!! During one of my, um, infrequent breaks, I hopped in my little gray Honda Civic and parked a few blocks away from the House of Blues. To keep my mind calm on the three-block journey in three-inch heels, I pulled out my ipod and clicked on some Kelly Clarkson tunes. In my mind, I was already downing the iced-coffee concoction, and it tasted quite heavenly. I arrived in front of the donut shop and was about to go in, when the horror hit me: The pink lettering and double-D logo on this establishment do not spell out Dunkin' Donuts. They spell Double Donuts. Those conniving tricksters, I thought, as I stood fuming in front of the store. (Even Kelly Clarkson's melodic voice assuring me that "everything's fine" did not help.) Those bastards, with their pink logo and their double-D's that certainly do not spell Dunkin' Donuts, thought they could lure me into their lair. And once I was in there, and finally noticed that this was not the real Dunkin' Donuts, they probably figured I would stay and buy their coffee anyway, since I was, you know, already there. They would not enjoy that satisfaction on this day. I turned on my three-inch heels and walked the three painful blocks back to my car, coffeeless. At the office, I turned to the official Dunkin' Donuts website and learned that the closest location is six and a half miles away in -- sigh -- Brooklyn. Forlorn, I stared at my watery cup of green tea, then made my way to the soda machine. Diet Coke is not an extra-large iced coconut-flavored coffee, but at least it has the same number of calories -- zero. Next order of business: Mapquesting Brooklyn. Does the workday never end? -- Becky Meiser

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at news@clevescene.com.

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club


Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.


Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.


Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club for as little as $5 a month.

More by Erich Burnett

Read the Digital Print Issue

November 17, 2021

View more issues

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Calendar

© 2021 Cleveland Scene: 737 Bolivar Rd., Suite 4100, Cleveland, OH 44115, (216) 505-8199
Logos and trademarks on this site are property of their respective owners.


Website powered by Foundation