Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Chinese Drive-Thru Caper

Posted By on Wed, Dec 20, 2006 at 11:48 AM

We suspect Tom Newman hasn't had much of a yen for Chinese food lately. In his chatty bi-monthly newsletter, the director of the Flats Oxbow Association recounts a harrowing trip to the China King drive-thru on Carnegie Avenue on November 2. With his autistic son, Rudy, in the car, Newman says a "pig-headed thug" jumped into the backseat and threatened to shoot the pair if they didn't hand over all their money. That's when Newman apparently lost all common sense. Despite the wannabe robber's warning, Newman hopped out of the car, banged on the drive-through window, and screamed at the clerk for help. "She yelled back at me, 'Call the police!'" Newman recalls with exasperation. "Like I even knew where my cell phone was." Moral of the story: Never get robbed at a Chinese drive-through. Then Newman realized a small detail: He left his car running. Fearing his car might be stolen, he jumped back behind the wheel while the bandit gave Rudy a brilliant shiner on his right eye. Then Newman hit the gas just seconds after the robber opened the car door and fled (with no money, we might add). "The single most important issue (in Cleveland) is safety," Newman writes. "Until we can insure that feeling of security, people will not continue to come downtown." Lest they learn how to lock their car doors first. -- Cris Glaser



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