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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Life of O'Brien: Let's Just Blow Up Iran and get it Done With

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2007 at 6:23 PM

The deteriorating relationship between the United States and Iran may hold the highest stakes of any international crisis. As the country nears closer to going nuclear, the West must walk a tightrope between imposing meaningful sanctions -- without further emboldening and expanding Iran’s hard-line Islamist movement. Now is surely not the time for any cowboy displays of bravado on the part of the United States, as anyone can plainly see. But Plain Dealer columnist Kevin O’Brien isn't anyone. Blow the shit outta dem lil’ fuckknuckles, he declares in his latest masterpiece. That’s right, says O’Brien, the paper’s deputy editorial director, in his column “United States is wasting its table manners on Iran.” The time for talking is done. Now its time to make them little falafel-eatin’, camel-milkin’, VCR-repairing, abu-gabu-jabu-talkin’ freakie-deakies pay, beeyatch! O’Brien clearly disagrees with the moderate approach taken by the new U.S. ambassador to the U.N., Zalmay Khalilzad, a Sunni political scientist born in Afghanistan. O’Brien’s tired of talking about his feelings, and he’s unraveled a two-step plan for fixing the problem, right-wing-wackjob-style: One: “Detail Iranian behavior no longer to be tolerated.” Two: Create a “list of targets Iran can expect to be destroyed should misbehavior persist.” Possible third step: Distribute fully-automatic weapons to every man, woman and child in the United States, just as a safety precaution. – Jared Klaus

Cleveland Clinic Doctor takes Revenge on Nightline tonight

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2007 at 6:19 PM

Dr. Steven Nissen is pissed. And the Cleveland Clinic’s chairman of cardiovascular medicine is ready to vent on Nightline tonight. It all started when Nissen released details of a study he coauthored on the diabetes drug Avandia. The drug helps improve blood sugar flow. It also, according to Nissen’s research, might jack up your chances of getting a heart attack. That’s what we lay people call a Pyrrhic Victory. But it seems some were not too happy with Nissen’s research. That included a spokesman of the FDA, who emailed a story and blog critical of Nissen to some journalists. The FDA susquently released a statement saying the guy who sent the e-mail was acting on his own. Nissen’s still fuming, calling it an “outrage.” The show begins at 11:30 p.m. on ABC. – T.K. Kim

All-You-Can Drink Beer Alert!

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2007 at 6:16 PM

Cleveland Plays -- the co-ed sports group that plays like kids and parties like the illegitimate child of Colin Farrell and Lenny Bruce – is teaming up with Ohio City’s Garage Bar (1859 W. 25th St) for a summer kick-off party Friday, June 1. The Garage’s sprawling patio will be open, as will its new kitchen. More importantly, your liver can look forward to all-you-can drink Molson, Coors, and/or house wines from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Since it’s sponsored by Cleveland Plays, you can also expect plenty of big-boned, broad-shouldered football-playing men and women. In other words, it should be great breeding ground if you’re hoping to one day live vicariously through your children’s athletic feats. Go forth and get pissed, my sporty friends. – Joe P. Tone

Glenn Danzig: Underground auteur talks about photography, the future, and Cleveland’s Dead Boys

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2007 at 6:11 PM

Glenn Danzig’s DNA is splattered all over the dark underworld of punk, hardcore, and heavy metal. And while his work may be footnotes to the musical mainstream, what footnotes they are. Danzig’s 1992 instrumental Black Aria album topped Billboard’s Classical charts, and last year’s sequel cracked the top ten, landing between Itzhak Perlman and Andrea Bocelli. Johnny Cash and Roy Orbison performed songs he wrote. And Rick Rubin (2007’s Grammy winner for Producer of the Year) produced the early albums from Danzig’s self-titled band, which are slowly receiving recognition as rock classics. Not bad for a Jersey guy who made his first marks as a tattooed punk, singing uptempo horrorcore tunes like “Astro Zombies” in an Elvis croon. Learn more about his 30-year recording career in this week’s Scene, which takes a look at the new Lost Tracks of Danzig collection. And read on for exclusive online excerpts that didn’t make it into this week’s story: Scene: Does The Lost Tracks of Danzig collection empty your vaults? Danzig: No. There’s still more. No one’s gonna hear that other stuff, though. Scene: Do you still shoot photos yourself? Danzig: We’re talking about doing a Danzig photo book, which would just be tons of photos from the beginning till now. Back in the punk days, shots now, shots on the video sets, hanging out on tour. Kind of a nice, cool book. Maybe there’ll be some really cool photos in there. I have photos I took back in the day of Sid [Vicious] on stage and the Cramps backstage with the original lineup, and Richard Hell, all these people. Pictures of the Damned, from a three-night stand at CBGB’s, where the Dead Boys opened up. I hated the Dead Boys, I thought they were an awful, poseur band. I had to sit through them to see the Damned. Then I didn’t get many Damned pictures. The bassist was too wasted to play, and he wrecked everything. Scene: How do you demo something like Black Aria 2’s “Lamenta Lilith”, which had female vocals? Danzig: I didn’t demo it. We just called up the engineers and rolled the tape… It’s like any song: You hear the song in your head, and you try to visualize it, and you go out there and try to teach the girl how to sing what you want her to sing. I laid down the tracks, and then had the girl start singing to it. She couldn’t do it, so then I would come in and do a vocal track for her to sing to, so it progresses - you just do whatever has to be done to make it happen. I’m going to do a 3.There are two subjects it might be about. But if I do it about this one - I might just do it about Hell - it’s going to be very crazy: lots of jazz chords, dark, creepy, symphonic jazz chords. Like Hell, my version. And I might not do that; I might do something more ethereal. Scene: Will there be a ninth Danzig album? Danzig: Yeah. I’ve been working on some Danzig stuff. But hopefully sometime in 2008, I’ll go into the studio and start laying down some basics. -- D.X. Ferris

The Quotable Chuck D, Part III

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2007 at 6:07 PM

Chuck D visited the main branch of Akron’s public library Wednesday, May 23, as part of its excellent series of free lectures. The introduction described his hip-hop squad, Public Enemy, as “arguably the most important rap group in history.” At the turn of the millennium, Chuck retreated from the major-label record business. PE was once an MVP on Def Jam’s early roster, the political engine of the hit factory, rounding a roster featuring Run-DMC, the Beastie Boys, and LL Cool J. In recent years, he’s concentrated on running his own digital-based label, SlamJamz [ ]. After 58 musical and speaking tours of the world, he’s currently moving around the county to promote his latest book, Chuck D: Lyrics of a Rap Revolutionary. The Quotable Chuck D, Part Three of Three: Reality On the role of athletes in the black community: “Celebrity is the drug of America.” On looks vs. substance: “There’s a lot of people frontin’ based on how they look.” On politics and geography: “The whole country is governed by New York, LA, and D.C. Beltway politics. And the rest of the country, you might as well be a country bumpkin.” On the underappreciated value of “stupid”: “I say ‘stupid’ because we don’t use that word enough. You say ‘Yo, you’ stupid, dawg,’ and they’ll either get flustered or get their act together.” On teens as young adults: “We cannot have a 15-year-old person making up their own rules about what life is about.” On money and race: “Nowhere in the world can you take money with a black face on it and exchange it equally for money with a white person on it.” On personal political activism: “Demand your right to make your existence better.” On America’s isolationist tendencies: “The best American is a citizen of the world.” On the environment: “You don’t get two planets. Jack this one up, and it’s a wrap.” On Ohio citizens: “That’s one thing I like about people in Ohio: They’re down-to-earth.” Click here for The Quotable Chuck D, Part I: On Rap Click here for The Quotable Chuck D, Part II: On Race -- D.X. Ferris

Money Where Your Mouth Is: Eternal Legacy

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2007 at 6:01 PM

The Scene Music Department have been indefinitely suspended following an article that referred to Sublime-worshipping fraternity members as “happy-headed bro’s.” So instead of having a writer talk up Auburn Records’ new tech-metal phenom, the guys from Eternal Legacy will do it for themselves: Band: Eternal Legacy Hometown: Cleveland Sounds like: “Aggressive/melodic/epic heavy metal.” Fun fact: “Our manager, Al, looks like Mr. Clean, and will wash your girlfriend/wife's breasts at the show, free of charge. Also, the loudest mother ****** at our show will get liquored up on us for free, but will have to pay the price of getting the worst hangover possible the next day. Be our guest!” Playing: 8 p.m. Friday, June 1 at the Jigsaw Saloon (5324 State Rd., Parma). Why you need to see them: “It's only $7, and the band will be sacrificing emo kids onstage all night. Crowd participation encouraged!” -- Murder Axe Vanek (Guitar), Jason Vanek (Vocals/Guitar) and Josh Gatka (Bass)

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

A Solon Cop gets Probabtion for Threatening to Kill his Kid, Girlfriend

Posted By on Wed, May 30, 2007 at 4:42 PM

The last time we caught up with Andrew Kolcinko, the Solon cop was facing 27 criminal charges after he threatened to kill his ex-girlfriend, Elizabeth Stevens, and their child [“Caught on Tape,” February 21]. Stevens gave Garfield Heights police over 15 hours of recorded phone conversations in which Kolcinko promised to shoot her and then smother their son. "We will see when I choke that little motherfucker and put the pillow on his fucking face just until he almost stops breathing," Kolcinko could be heard saying. Kolcinko said his threats were baited by Stevens and vowed to fight the charges. But that was before he actually heard the tapes. On May 24, just 10 days after finally listening to the recordings, Kolcinko plead no contest to five of the charges. “You can’t explain those [threats] away,” says prosecutor James McGrath. “When the attorney listened to [those tapes], he problem told [Kolcinko] to fold up his tent.” Kolcinko, who has since lost his job with the Solon Police Department, offered a tearful apology before he was sentenced to two years of probation, anger management and domestic violence classes, and a $5,000 fine. If he contacts Stevens or any of her relatives, he could face up to 18 months in the slammer. Still, McGrath thinks this isn’t the last he or Stevens will hear from Kolcinko. “This fella just doesn’t get it,” McGrath says. “If I was a betting man, I’d bet that we see them again. Love dies hard. There’s a fatal attraction there for whatever reason.” – Denise Grollmus


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