Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Fistua Live: "We are gonna beat the makeup off all these sissies."

Posted By on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 at 11:40 AM

The five-man Fistula lineup makes its live debut at the Beachland Tavern (15711 Waterloo Ave., 216-383-1124) Wednesday, October 31, opening for opening for stoner crush-crew Weedeater. When the sludgy Fistula was just a trio, they sounded like a hopped-up COC mugging Black Sabbath. With two more members in the fearsome fold, the imminent new LP, Burdened by Your Existence, promises to be just downright nasty. In a good way. Mainman Corey Bing (the grizzly gentleman second from the left) made Scene the following promise about the band's set: “Three people that would normally kick your ass isn't anything compared to five that will do the same. More anger, more volume, more people, more pissed. There are all these punks perpetratin' like they got something worthwhile to offer. I’m tired of it, the whole fasion-show metal shit. People are still so concerned with what you look like and all the rest of that hip scenster bullshit. Fistula is here to stay, and we are gonna beat the makeup off all these sissies.” And a happy Halloween back at ya, Mr. Bing. -- D.X. Ferris
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Crack Dealing Piece of Trash Chooses Jail Over Cemetery

Posted By on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 at 11:36 AM

Score one for Cleveland City Councilman Mike Polensek! Arsenio Winston, caught dealing drugs outside a convenience store in the councilman’s Collinwood ward, was sentenced today to two years in prison by a Cuyahoga County judge. You may remember Winston from a letter he received in the mail from Polensek after being arrested for drug-trafficking this summer. He was “stupid,” said the letter, a “loser,” and, who could forget, “a crack-dealing piece of trash.” Polensek lovingly closed the letter, “Go to jail or the cemetery soon.” Apparently, Winston favored the first choice. After the sentencing, news cameras met with Polensek outside the courthouse to capture his reaction (i.e. Goad him into a spitting-mad rage, which basically involves asking him a question, making eye contact, or turning down a pierogi). Asked by a Channel 5 reporter whether he felt it was appropriate to send the letter to Winston on Cleveland City Hall stationery, Polensek gave a hearty “Hell Yeah!” Asked whether he felt that calling the boy “dumber than mud” could be construed as racist, Polensek did a double-take. “Racist? What is that?” I'm Mike Polensek, Bitch! Luckily for Winston, at least somebody had a soft spot for him. Judge Peter Corrigan put him on post-release control, meaning Winston could be out in as little as four months. Sources inside the courtroom say Winston broke down in tears, pleading with Corrigan for more prison time. “Please Judge, you don’t know the councilman. He’s crazy!” -- Jared Klaus
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Unfulfilled By the Browns' Winning? The Gladiators Will Fill Your Torment Quota

Posted By on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 at 11:27 AM

Here come the Gladiators: The catharsis starts in 2008.
Now that the Browns have revealed themselves to be utterly invincible, Cleveland football fans may be experiencing an unfamiliar, empty feeling. Sunday used to be the opportunity for Browns’ fans to vent all of the week’s built-up anger and despair. You turn on the TV, scream at Derek Anderson’s image for three hours, and smash the remote over your knee—an unbeatable cathartic process. Now, they're actually ... winning. What's an emotionally damaged guy to do? Well, if you’re fiending fumbles and interceptions as reasons to not speak to your wife over Sunday dinner, there’s help on the way. The arena football team moving to Cleveland from Las Vegas is, by all accounts, remarkably bad at arena football. The Gladiators finished dead last in the AFL last year, going 2-14. Now there’s a hallowed record of ineptitude and true rage-ventilation potential. The Browns haven’t been that bad since ’99. “We do suck right now,” coach Danton Barto said after their eighth loss last year, “so we’ve got to find a way to turn it around.” Now that’s an attitude we can throw sharp objects at, especially since they certainly didn’t find a way to turn it around. The team is so awful, other teams in the division it’s leaving are mourning the loss. “Those trips to Las Vegas—an an easy win, usually,” writes a Salt Lake Tribune scribe, “are gone for the Utah Blaze.” If somebody in Utah feels comfortable making fun of something, you know it’s awful. Brian Jones, Josh Rue, Thabiti Davis; remember these names. Assuming they’ll be on the team next year, these are the stars of the Gladiators, and the people who will cause you to hurl your crushed remote into your fish tank. The game may be wierdly different—50 yard fields, skinny goal posts, etc.—but the losing should feel comfortingly similar. -- Gus Garcia-Roberts
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This Just In: There’s concert announcements, and then there’s concert announcements.

Posted By on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 at 11:25 AM

This week, 21 new shows, from Clay Aiken’s Christmas to the Luchagors, a pop-punk band featuring the former WWE diva once known as Lita. -- DX Ferris NEW DATE Nathaniel Mayer: Tavern, Fri., Jan. 18, 9 p.m., $10. Beachland. THIS JUST IN A Place to Bury Strangers: Sat., Nov. 10, 9 p.m., $8. Beachland. Clay Aiken's Christmas Concert Tour: Mon., Dec. 17, $35-$75 (PlayhouseSquare.org). State Theatre. ...

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Piano Girl: Before she plays Cleveland, Tori Amos talks with C-Notes

Posted By on Tue, Oct 30, 2007 at 11:07 AM

Tori Amos and Yoav play the State Theatre (1519 Euclid Avenue., Playhouse Square) 7:30 p.m. Thursday, November. Tickets are $42.50 ADV/$49.50 DOS, 216-241-6000. Amos is supporting American Doll Posse, her best CD in years. It’s the piano-playing singer-songwriter’s 10th studio album - -if you count the record she made with Y Kant Tori Read, a cringe-inducing hair-rock band she formed in Los Angeles at the end of the '80s. On the disc, Amos assumes the roles of a quartet of disparate women: Isabel (an indignant politico photographer), Clyde (a wounded soul-seeker), Pip (a fierce rubber enthusiast), and Santa (a glitzy sensualist). Together, they sing the album’s 23 songs. They also join Amos onstage. In addition to a solo piano performance and a set with her backing band, Amos’ two-and-a-half-hour show includes appearances by Posse’s protagonists. Amos takes the stage dressed in character as one of the album’s other four girls, but we can’t tell you which one -- she doesn’t make up her mind until an hour before the show. But this really isn’t groundbreaking territory for Amos, who, after her autobiographical 1992 debut Little Earthquakes, began channeling different characters to sing her increasingly oblique songs. Amos talked to Scene about her all her albums and the women who perform them. Of the American Doll Posse characters, which is least like you? “Well, it depends which day you catch me on. The least like me, the way I’ve known me all these years, would be Santa. That one was difficult, just because they’re all patterned after ancient female archetypes. She was patterned after Aphrodite. I use the Greek pantheon, as opposed to another one, because I thought people would be more familiar with it. Having to open myself up for Aphrodite’s myth and story, I had to do a lot of homework. And my impressions were not right: I thought she was a tart. After really immersing myself in her story, I began to see how she would use her sexuality, and how she was really comfortable with her body. She didn’t live a life of guilt where men decided how she felt about her physicality.” ...

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Even Plastic Wrap Can't Tangle Symon's Quest to be the Next Iron Chef

Posted By on Mon, Oct 29, 2007 at 2:23 PM

It was SRO last night at Lolita, as scores of fans and foodies gathered to watch Michael Symon beat the lederhosen off the competition, in episode number four (of six) of the Next Iron Chef. Filmed inside hanger #4 at the Munich Airport, the episode was nail-biter, as Symon and his three remaining challengers did their best to “conceive and implement the ultimate first-class meal” for passengers who will be flying onboard Lufthansa’s new Aerobus a380. While Symon’s three-course creation (tuna crudo in lemon vinaigrette; curry-crusted venison on parsnip puree; and slow-roasted salmon on creamed leeks and chanterelles) was the unanimous winner, the truest contest was arguably Symon’s fierce battle with a roll of plastic wrap – a death match that not only resonates in the soul of any home cook, but also resulted in him getting bleeped a record three times before wrestling that sucka into submission. But when the panel of judges declared our boy the winner, the cheers and clapping could have been heard all the way to Public Square. Now, only three chefs remain: Symon, SF chef Chris Consentino, and New Orleans’ hotshot (and, most likely, Symon’s final competitor) John Besh. The winner will be revealed during the series’ finale on Sunday Nov. 11, at 9 p.m. Among the panel of three judges, preppy Clevelander Michael Ruhlman (chef, food authority, and author of a dozen books, including The French Laundry Cookbook and Soul of a Chef) is almost as much fun to watch as Symon, even if he never gets bleeped. For Ruhlman’s always engaging perspective on the proceedings (often augmented by input from his buddy, Tony Bourdain), check out his blog. Meantime, fans who want to watch the final two episodes of the show with Symon and his crew at Lolita would be wise to snag reservations ASAP. --- Elaine T. Cicora
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Five Days, Five Concerts: Mike G Maps Out The Week in Music

Posted By on Mon, Oct 29, 2007 at 12:55 PM

Meg & Dia play the Grog Shop tonight (Monday).
This week’s top music picks around town, from the guy who’s paid to listen: Monday: File Utah sister band Meg & Dia under the same section as Tegan & Sara, and Eisley. Their bouncy indie-pop pretty much amounts to emo for girls. They’re still touring last year’s fun Something Real, with a stop at the Grog Shop tonight. Tuesday: Coheed & Cambria just wrapped their Armory Wars saga. The storyline — about a post-apocalyptic family fighting to save the planet — kept the band busy for the past five years and through four prog-skirting albums. Their new CD, No World for Tomorrow, makes about as much narrative sense as its predecessors, which include the ponderously titled Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV, Volume One: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness as well as In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3. At least the straightforwardly named No World for Tomorrow also keeps the music relatively grounded. Coheed & Cambria still take the long way around occasionally (there sure are lots of extended solos and musical buildup for an emo band), but the trip is out of this world. They’re at House of Blues tonight and tomorrow. Wednesday: Old-school thrashers Prong have been bringing the heavy for more than two decades now. Their new album, Power of the Damager, is their first in four years. And it kicks plenty of ass. Prong plays Peabody’s. Thursday: Sensitive Swedish singer-songwriter Jens Lekman fills his dreamy new CD, Night Falls Over Kortedala, with a bunch of airy sounds that range from lo-fi indie-rock to over-the-top chamber pop. It’s quite a ride, as Lekman soaks in each and every orchestral swell. Let’s see how he pulls it all off at the Beachland. Friday: Jimmy Eat World were emo before there was a name for it. The Arizona group's first two albums — 1996's Static Prevails and 1999's Clarity — were recently reissued in special expanded editions with bonus tracks. Even back in the day, the band mixed pop-punk guitars with heart-on-your-sleeve rumination. Their new CD, Chase This Light, expands on the sound while doubling back on it — making the record a perfect reference and starting point. Best of all, Jimmy Eat World crack a smile or two this time around. Their last album, 2004's Futures, was a distressed and depressing slab of grown-up worries. The sunshine peeks through on Chase This Light, and the problems — thankfully — mostly have to do with how mean girls can be. They play House of Blues. -- Michael Gallucci
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