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Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Ladies’ Night Under Attack!

Posted By on Tue, Dec 18, 2007 at 9:04 AM

Ladies like Ladies’ Night because it means free or cheaper drinks. Men like Ladies’ Nights because there’s a lot of ladies at the bar. This ain’t Kant. It ain’t even Dr. Phil. But one man — Roy Den Hollander, a lawyer in the hoighty-toity land of Manhattan — just doesn’t get it. And he threatens to ruin Ladies’ Night for us all. Yahoo.com reports that Hollander is suing Manhattan nightclubs — most notably the famed spots China Club and Lotus — for their specials lowering cover charges for women, deeming such promotions discriminatory. While we may be 463 miles away from the action, this lawsuit is still cause for all straight, drinking males in Cleveland — the striped-shirt frat boys, the thugs, the emos, the hipsters, the asbestos-covered union workers — to join together in one voice and declare, “Dude, shut up.” ... A New Yorker profile on Hollander reveals something surprising: he’s not, as one might expect, a stodgy publicity-seeking crusader who’s learned of Ladies’ Nights from behind a mahogany desk. In fact, he’s a sleazy publicity-seeking crusader who learned of Ladies’ Nights from going to Ladies' Nights to meet ladies. He’s a bachelor that seems to fancy himself a playboy, a rake, a lothario, a Casanova, a ladies’ man. A ladies’ man who sues Ladies’ Nights? This is awfully reminiscent of the fat woman who sued milk. We didn’t like that, either. We just didn’t say anything because there was less at stake—that was milk. This, to be clear, is Ladies’ Night.
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I happen to be a former coat-check attendant at the China Club, one of the clubs he's suing. I can attest that the men there are largely douchebags with nipple-piercings and belly-button sun tattoos that give themselves Bowflexes for Christmas. Eliminate ladies, and these guys are all that's left. Why would anyone want to risk cutting out the half of the clientèle that doesn’t smell like Old Spice mixed with P. Diddy’s newest cologne? True, the douchebag in question goes to China Club for the ladies, who are attracted by Ladies’ Night ... Wait. I just made a great point. Cut out the ladies, cut out the douchebags? Could it be? Pending further investigation, I hereby reverse every opinion previously stated in this blog. -- Gus Garcia-Roberts

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