Dear LeBron, C-notes would like to wish you the very best in tonight’s outing against the Portland Blazers. But please be careful. Portland is a sneaky place. The men in this idyllic outpost of socialism dress like women. And the women dress like men. Actually, it is impossible to tell if Portlanders are men or women. Both sexes wear the same asymmetrical haircut in this town. Both sexes swoon equally for Tegan and Sarah and Rufus Wainwright. And both sexes have sex with both sexes. There is no gay or straight in Portland. Just queer. Don't let that get you off your game. ...
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