VODKA VODKA returns in February. Limited early bird tickets are on sale right now!

Friday, March 21, 2008

Elyria woman hawks Jesus-shaped fish sticks on eBay, has some serious explaining to do

Posted By on Fri, Mar 21, 2008 at 8:36 AM

Holy. Holy. Holy. It’s all one needs to explain the miracle of Christ that Elyria resident Victoria Landis found in her freezer recently. According to an Associated Press report, this is what went down:
"I went to cook them one day and I poured them out into the pan and there were three kind of fused together in a way that made three mini crosses, and the way they fell on the pan it looked just like the hill where Jesus was crucified," Landis said.
It gets better. ... Knowing it was sign from God commemorating Holy Week, Landis immediately put the sticks, equivalent to the grail so coveted by Sir Galahad and, more memorably, Indiana Jones, up for sale on eBay. And on Thursday morning, they sold for 79 bucks, which includes next-day shipment in a box full of dry ice. An act of heresy akin to Judas snitching on Christ -- or LC cheating on Brody, if you prefer a slightly more contemporary but equally weighty analogy – slangin’ her holy fish sticks online is expected to force Landis to do a u-turn before Saint Peter, who loves fish sticks but really can’t stand the Web. Or maybe it just means that some dude named Xavier was falling asleep during his 12-hour shift at Gorton’s fish-stick factory, allowing a woman to make a couple bucks. God works in mysterious ways, right? – Bradley Campbell


Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.


© 2019 Cleveland Scene: 737 Bolivar Rd., Suite 4100, Cleveland, OH 44115, (216) 241-7550
Logos and trademarks on this site are property of their respective owners.

Website powered by Foundation