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Monday, March 31, 2008

Evangelists coming to Ohio to prove they’re not that weird

Posted By on Mon, Mar 31, 2008 at 5:27 AM

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According to those way closer to God than you, it turns out that Jesus is more into health care than stopping gays guys from marrying.
With President Bush’s approval ratings hovering at -18 degrees, evangelicals are starting to worry that they’re about to lose their grip on power. Recent polls show that most secular Americans believe that evangelists are mostly concerned with opposing abortion and gay marriage. Technically, this may be true, but they’re also concerned with stuff that matters, like the environment and poverty, according to The Sojourners/Call to Renewal, a D.C. evangelical group. So in an effort to readjust the evangelical image in the public eye, the group will host a number of “justice revival” seminars, starting in Ohio on April 16, to demonstrate to America that they’re not as scary as previously thought... “A whole generation of young evangelicals believes that Jesus would probably care more about the 30,000 children who died again today -- as they did yesterday and they will tomorrow -- from preventable disease than he would about passing a gay-marriage amendment in Ohio,'' Jim Wallis, the group’s CEO, said recently. But it seems these Evangelicals for a Cool Jesus are running afoul of the Evangelicals Who Still Believe in the Jesus Who Likes to Throw Car Batteries at Lepers. “We feel they are in error,” says Belinda, a spokesperson for Focus on the Family, whose Jesus is surly and sometimes shoots guns at his television. Part of being a Christian is “being pro-life and viewing homosexuality as a sin,” she says. Attempts to hide or get away from that fact is “wrong.” Others accuse the organization of stumping for the Democratic Party, which is nothing but a front for homos and vegetarians, according to Mean Jesus. It was Ohio evangelicals who gave the 2004 election to Bush, analysts say, so it’s no coincidence that these revivals are starting again in the Buckeye state. But next month, you may find bible-carrying Christians coming to your door. And instead of lecturing you about being totally &%$#@* in the afterlife, they’re really gonna want to know about your feelings about solar energy. – Rebecca Meiser

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