Thursday, May 1, 2008

Cavs lose to Wizards: Thoughts from a bowling alley on East 30th

Posted By on Thu, May 1, 2008 at 2:36 PM

Get out of our heads, Jason Kapono. You're making it smell like vanilla in here.
Watching the Cavs lose last night via a Caron Butler lay-up over LeBron James sure dampened the mood of those bowling at Twin Lanes. Even the lovably grumpy twin owners were further downtrodden. It was the sudden nature of the implosion that caused the agony. After many dog barks when the Cavs grabbed a solid five-point lead late in the fourth, the hardy group of PBA wunderkinds witnessed something we are not supposed to witness: LeBron failing to make the winning shot. ... But while we were saddened and shocked at LeBron not acting like the Chosen One (though his 34-7-10 stat line makes a good argument that he is, in fact, holy), we were most sickened by Boobie. We watched him brick crucial three-point attempts down the stretch that would have put away the game. We know he’s only in his second year, but c’mon, every time he misses a trey, visions of Jason Kapono drilling threes in his sleep dances through our heads. That’s not a good thing. We still can’t understand a player who uses product in his hair while playing sports. Doesn’t it get into his eyes? Does is smell like vanilla almond? We don’t really want those questions answered. We just want Boobie to start draining again. It makes us feel good, like the time we used fabric softener. – Bradley Campbell


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