Thursday, July 29, 2010

John Boehner Would Like You to Know 1) He'd Like to Be Speaker of the House, and 2) He Played High School Football

Posted By on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 3:25 PM


Politico reports today that Ohio's own John Boehner, who already had his sights set on becoming the Speaker of the House, has taken action towards that goal by forming the "Boehner for Speaker" committee, which is basically just a means to raise truckloads of money.

To the House minority leader, “Speaker” Boehner seems to have a nice ring to it.

So much so that months before any midterm votes are cast, John Boehner of Ohio is putting his own face on the GOP’s drive to take back the House by quietly launching a “Boehner for Speaker” committee that aims to boost the party’s lagging fundraising, in part by introducing him as a “regular guy” from Ohio.

But while the effort plays up Boehner’s modest roots, the going rate to participate is pricey: According to materials distributed by Boehner’s camp and obtained by POLITICO, lobbyists and other major donors across the country who give the maximum or help raise $100,000 will get meetings with Boehner, calls from senior aides with updates on the campaign and “VIP access to all events, including roundtables, briefings, breakout discussions and interactive panel discussions.”

Boehner convened a meeting of top Republican lobbyists at the National Republican Congressional Committee last Thursday to enlist them in the cause and armed them with slick, presidential-level brochures and fundraising materials making the case for putting him in the speaker’s chair.

It’s the most aggressive step the clubby Ohioan has taken yet to stamp his imprint on the GOP’s 2010 House campaign and comes as Republicans fret that their lack of money could be the only barrier keeping them from dethroning Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

The brochure, which you can view in full technicolor PDF form here, touts the regular guy Boehner. He keeps people honest, he's a hard worker, he's got your best interest at heart, and most importantly, he played high school football. And that's not just a minor point of emphasis for the Speaker hopeful, it's right on page two of the seven-page brochure.


While he looks stylish in his gridiron duds, we're concerned that he won't speak openly about his stats. We don't want just any high school football player to become Speaker of the House. We want the best of the best. What if Boehner was horrible? What if he never played? What if he ran fumbles back the wrong way for safeties?

These are vital questions and we can't throw our weight behind Boehner until he answers them.

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Drew Carey Has Lost Weight, This is News

Posted By on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 1:38 PM


The Huffington Post, US Magazine, and Fox 8 Cleveland are reporting, after conferring with multiple sources of course, that Drew Carey has lost a shit-ton of weight and now looks like Orville Redenbacher's lost grandson.

"I just got sick of being fat," he told US.

Adjust your life, diet, and workout schedules accordingly.

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Supporting Your Coke Habit With Meat

Posted By on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 1:07 PM

My purse can only fit two of these? Man, I did not think this one through
  • My purse can only fit two of these? Man, I did not think this one through

In this afternoon's addition of "Things Only a Cokehead Would Do," we would like to introduce you to a 49-year-old man from Cleveland. This man, out of money and needing a way to support his coke habit, spotted a Giant Eagle. After entering the store, the man was found doing something that all typical cokeheads do: linger by the meat freezer. goes on to report that when the man was approached by a few employees, he ran for it. Police were called, eventually pulling the man's car over on Interstate 90. Seventeen packages of beef tenderloin that weighed close to 58 pounds and were valued at $1,155 were subsequently found.

Apparently stealing meat had been on this guy's mind all day long, as he stashed the stolen goods in a portable lunch cooler. He then told police he committed beef theft in order to pay for his coke habit,which might be the worst answer a person could give as to why they were stealing beef.

As intriguing as this story is, it leave us here at Scene with so many questions. Like, where was this man going with all that meat? Is there an underground market for that stuff that none of us know about? Can you move pounds of it on the corner like some kind of tenderloin drug lord? Is there a meat-for-cocaine trade-in store somewhere in Cleveland? I guess we will never know.

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Rest Easy, You Can Still Smoke With Your Kids in the Car in Washington C.H., OH

Posted By on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 11:51 AM

The little girl is sad because the windows are down. She prefers hot boxing.
  • The little girl is sad because the windows are down. She prefers hot boxing.

In case you were curious whether you could smoke in your car with the kids in the back while driving through Washington Court House, OH, rest assured, you may continue to puff legally and without reservation while ferrying your children around to soccer practice or the cigarette store.

The great civic debate of smoking in cars with children came before the city council of Washington Court House this week. A resolution was set to be voted upon with expectations that the town would ban drivers from lighting up cigs with young children in the car. Something about secondhand smoke or something. But the great people of Washington Court House stood up and said Nay!

Here's how the heated battle between The Man and the Marlboro Man went down, courtesy of the AP:

The city council in Washington Court House gave tentative approval to the proposal on a 4-2 vote July 14. But Wednesday night, the measure was put aside because two council members decided to change their earlier yes votes.

Councilman Ben Roby says he decided to drop his support for the ban because he found more "public interest" in the proposal than he ever expected.

Before the council meeting, about 10 people held a noisy street corner protest against the ban. They held signs with messages including "Say no to more government control" and "What's next? Your home?"

One sign that was not present but should have been: "My kids call the back seat of my car Flavor Country." But that was probably too long to fit on a placard.

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Increase in Voting by Mail in Ohio Produces Increase in Mistakes (or, People Are Idiots)

Posted By on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 10:37 AM

Evidence suggests the public is too dumb to vote by mail.
  • Evidence suggests the public is too dumb to vote by mail.

Voting by mail seems like an easy enough task: Fill out a ballot correctly, place said ballot in an envelope, and then put it in the mail.

We are, however, dealing with people, and when you're dealing with people, bad things happen. People are idiots.

Take the process above. How many different steps can the normal person screw up? They could fill out the ballot incorrectly. They could forget to put a stamp on the envelope. They could forget to sign the ballot. There are literally endless opportunities for the public's general incompetence to come shining through. Usually, the public only needs one, but it's good to have options.

These gaffes and many more are plaguing Ohio as voting by mail becomes more popular. According to the AP, people even forget to include the ballot in the envelope when mailing it. Seriously. It's any wonder people can walk from their front door to their mailbox without getting lost.

Elections officials in major Ohio counties say a surge in people voting by mail has been accompanied by a rise in ballot errors that cost time and money.

More than 6,000 voters in the county that includes Cleveland made mistakes with mail-in ballots for the May primary. Some left off necessary signatures or information, while nearly 100 even forgot to include their ballot in the envelope.

Cuyahoga County elections workers try to fix errors so votes can be counted, and the process can be costly. Officials are already urging that mail-in ballot instructions be followed carefully for the November election.

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Video of the Fan Who Wore a LeBron Heat Jersey to the Indians Game Last Night as He Gets Kicked Out Amid "Asshole" Chants From the Crowd

Posted By on Thu, Jul 29, 2010 at 9:38 AM

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Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Woman Discovers Husband's Second Wife When She Sees Their Wedding Photos on Facebook

Posted By on Wed, Jul 28, 2010 at 4:13 PM

Maybe she would have felt better if this was one of the wedding pictures.
  • Maybe she would have felt better if this was one of the wedding pictures.

Finding out that your significant other is cheating on you is hard.

Finding out that your significant other has a second spouse is even harder.

Finding out that your significant other has a second spouse when you see their wedding photos on Facebook? That's a whole 'nother level of hard.

WKYC has the story of a woman who they call "Megan" who went through just such an ordeal.

The Cleveland woman's husband was a businessman who traveled often, so at first she didn't think much of his frequent absences. She became suspicious eventually, especially after her family pointed her towards the Facebook page of a woman who seemed to be spending plenty of personal time with her man. Of course, what happened in Vegas or China or wherever the hell he was flying to didn't stay there, not when his mistress was posting pictures and updates of her time with him.

The real kicker for the Cleveland woman was when she logged on recently and saw photos from her husband's wedding with his second wife. Here's what "Megan" had to say:

"It's rubbing that salt into the wound of already finding out that my husband's having an affair," Megan said. "The pictures are out there for the world to see. It's not just that I have the knowledge, but I see the proof and everyone I know sees the proof and people I don't know see the proof."

"If they're going to have the affair, they're going to have the affair," she said. "But it's extra. It adds impact to the hurt, when they're posting the things they post about the affair. Pictures of the vacations they're taking with the other, the lover, the extra person. (Facebook posts) just cause a whole new hurt."

See, guys. If you're going to have an affair, you're going to have an affair. Just don't post the pictures of your second wife on Facebook. That's when the first wife tends to get upset.

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