Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Police Called to McDonald's After Fight Over Fries

Posted By on Tue, Dec 28, 2010 at 9:36 AM

Just give me the fries, and everybody goes home to their families.
  • "Just give me the fries, and everybody goes home to their families."

This is a great Christmas story (we’re still on the holiday tip) because despite being straight from the more ridiculous annuls of the police blotter, it’s anchored in some gosh darn messy love between a man and his missus.

French fries are the source of the conflict here. According to the Sandusky Register, 45-year-old Robert A. Quilen decided to stop by the McDonald’s in Perkins township to pick up an order of the salty sticks for his wife before she went to work last Sunday. He noticed the fast-food joints' employees served him up an order from the discarded stack of fries, and Quilen demanded a fresh batch for his wife.

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Stephen Hoffman, President of the Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland, Makes Lots and Lots of Money

Posted By on Tue, Dec 28, 2010 at 9:33 AM


A Jewish newspaper recently posted a list of the 2009 salaries of heads of 74 Jewish federations and other institutions across the country. Their findings: None of them are suffering, but one local boss is faring particularly well.

Stephen Hoffman, president of the Jewish Community Federation of Cleveland, topped the list of all 19 federation bosses with an eye-popping annual salary of $687,043. He made more than all but one of the executives ranked and nearly $100,000 more than the next-closest federation chief.

Hoffman, who has been with the federation since 1974, was also one of only five execs who took home more than half a mil in 2009. Not even the president and CEO of the Jewish Federations of North America came within $100K of Hoffman. Heads of federations in New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago, meanwhile, all pulled in roughly $450,000.

And what are good citizens getting for their $687K? Mediocrity, it appears. According to Charity Navigator, a group that rates the effectiveness of nonprofit organizations in managing their resources, Cleveland’s Jewish Federation earned two out of a possible four stars.

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Ed Fitzgerald's Plan for Law Department Could Weaken Bill Mason

Posted By on Tue, Dec 28, 2010 at 9:12 AM


Earlier this month, County Executive-elect Ed FitzGerald unveiled his plans for the county’s looming makeover. Already it appears Cuyahoga 2.0 will come equipped with its own turf war.

FitzGerald’s vision calls for a new director of law to handle the county’s legal business. Under our old-fashioned government, that role fell to the General Civil Division of Prosecutor Bill Mason’s office.
Since the prosecutor’s office is the only part of the county government not due to be blown up, confusion abounds over whether the new top lawyer will remain under Mason’s umbrella or operate independently. The new charter offers no insight on the matter.

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Monday, December 27, 2010

Stacy Galavan, Lorain Mom, Feeds Kids Booze Till They’re Sick

Posted By on Mon, Dec 27, 2010 at 3:49 PM

Bad, bad mom.
  • Bad, bad mom.

Want to read an honest-to-God gooey-feeling Christmas story, the reformed Grinch, Rudolph steering the herd, Chuck Brown and the runt tree, something along those lines? Don’t read this one. Reader beware.

32-year-old Lorain mother of two Stacy Galavan let her kids get into the liquor cabinet. And she let them keep drinking. Eventually, the youngsters got blotto, started kicking up a racket, and forced concerned neighbors to dial the 5O, according to 19ActionNews.

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Fewer Road Accidents Over Christmas This Year

Posted By on Mon, Dec 27, 2010 at 2:42 PM

Getting a little better each year, hopefully.
  • Getting a little better each year, hopefully.

Congrats Ohio, you've improved! According to the stats just beamed out from the Ohio Department of Public Safety, the Christmas holiday claimed less lives in road and alcohol related accidents this year.

Six people were killed, with two deaths attributed to the bottle. Last year saw 11 deaths, five alcohol related, the department’s statistics show.

After a careful analysis of the data, the department's kennel of PhDs concluded a greater number of Ohioans were smart enough cab it or passed out under a friend’s Christmas tree.

Now, if we can get out of New Year’s without a spike, that’s something really to write home to mom about.

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Shooting at Wickliffe Teen Nightclub

Posted By on Mon, Dec 27, 2010 at 2:27 PM

This teen is a computer generated image, so shes safe.
  • This teen is a computer generated image, so she's safe.

Ah, the teen nightclub — there's no other American institution like it. It’s kind of like a full-blown nightclub on training wheels, or an unchaperoned high school dance left to culminate in it’s own logical conclusion: newly discovered libidos getting their full workout under the strobe lights, teenie boppers dropping Molly in the bathroom stalls, the Top 40 echoing out of bad woofers, all in some strip mall anchor space six-months earlier a Chuck E. Cheese, six-months down the line a Bennigan’s. Who didn’t fall in love at such a spot?

Unfortunately, one local teen club hosted more than the usual hormonal upheaval this weekend. According to 19ActionNews, police were called to Wickliffe’s Evolution Night Club Sunday night after someone snapped off a few rounds while 200 to 300 kids mingled about the club.

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Yuengling May Soon Come to Ohio

Posted By on Mon, Dec 27, 2010 at 12:53 PM

Affordable, delicious, unavailable in this state.
  • Affordable, delicious, unavailable in this state.

If you count displaced East Coasters as friends, you’ve probably heard all about Yuengling beer, as in, “Wat the hack’s wrong with youse guys, you can’t gat a Yuengling inz this state.”

The Pennsylvania beer — best known for its small town home-base and bragging rights as the country’s oldest brewery — is available all up and down the eastern seaboard. But the lager hasn’t made the inland trek to Ohio. The good news: the blockade might soon be up. The company recently snagged a brewery in Memphis, TN., the potential launch pad for a ground assault on the Midwest. According to the Cincinnati Enquirer, Southern Ohio beer distributors won’t say whether or not they’ve been chatting with the company about possibly carrying the lager. The company is also playing coy.

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