Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Quality of Cleveland Life Report

Posted By on Wed, Nov 30, 2011 at 12:37 PM


Your guide to living in fabulous Cleveland.

Ohio: Stick to the North Side: Ohio’s next license plates could feature images of Cleveland’s orchestra and West Side Market; competing attractions from Cincinnati include Jethro Rainey’s Big Mound o’ Tires and Cousin Leo’s NyQuil Lab of Wonder.

Millionaires Woe: Councilman Jeff Johnson opposes Cleveland State’s plan to raze long-vacant building to make way for $25 million health and sciences center because it represents the “Euclid Avenue of the past.” And you thought his flash-mob campaign was stupid.

Oh Snap!: After two weeks of shaky play, former Pro Bowl long snapper Ryan Pontbriand is waived by Browns, thus ending the era when anybody knew the name of the Browns’ long snapper.

This Week's Index: Nina Turner and Marcia Fudge are throwing punches, and all of them are landing on you.

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Someone Left a Headless Dead Rooster at the Cuyahoga County Juvenile Justice Center

Posted By on Wed, Nov 30, 2011 at 10:30 AM


Black magic at the Juvenile Justice Center? Perhaps. Tune in this afternoon with 19 Action News first at four to find out!

Just kidding. But that promo from Northeast Ohio's own tabloid news is bound to make its way to air today.

Scott Taylor reports that Sheriff officials
confirmed that a box containing clothes and a headless rooster was found outside Cuyahoga County's own money pit this morning. No word yet on what it means or who left it their, but the investigation is just getting started.

Scene's Adventure News Team did some investigating of our own this morning, and the exhaustive and intensive search (read: Googling for 10.2 seconds) shows that the tactic of leaving a decapitated rooster outside the entrance to a business or home could be Black Magic. Seriously. As if the place wasn't cursed enough already. The county will now probably have to spend thousands of dollars on reversing whatever Voodoo plague was set upon the building. Just add it to the bill.

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Majority of Ohio License Plate Slogan Suggestions Are Patently Stupid

Posted By on Wed, Nov 30, 2011 at 9:23 AM


Ohio is getting a new license plate design, again. And it will come with a new slogan.

A little history first. In 1973, Ohio plastered a slogan on the license plate for the first time, and it also might be the first and only slogan in the history of license plates to include a question mark. "Seat Belts Fastened?"'

Then came the script, "The heart of it all," in 1991, followed by "Birthplace of Aviation" in 1998.

Now, Ohio will get a new slogan to go along with a new license plate design, which will replace the woefully lackluster horizon/farm/plane mess, and a new driver's license design, because the salmon really wasn't cutting it for anyone.

Folks can head to this link to vote on a preliminary batch of option (there's more than a month to vote left)
, some of which are actual slogans (Rubber Capital of the World, So Much to Discover, Mother of Presidents), and some of which are just topics that would be fodder for a slogan later (Ladybug, Edison, Cy Young).

You can guess which way this is going to go: We're going to get "The Heart of It All," or "Discover Ohio," but for now, any of the some four dozen choices could be the winner. And there are some seriously dumb ones, head-scratchers that make you wonder if the folks who lined up the list have even the slightest idea of what's important to our state. Below, some of the dumbest ones.

Continue reading »

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3-Year-Old Lakewood Kid Shoots Up the House

Posted By on Wed, Nov 30, 2011 at 8:53 AM

What part of Bob the Builder dont you understand?
  • "What part of 'Bob the Builder' don't you understand?"
Ask any Lakewood resident and you’ll hear some form of the same refrain: What the hell’s happening to this town? The Detroit Avenue storefronts are gettin’ purty, but the rap sheets are getting uglier by the day. Or maybe they’re just getting better publicity.

Our police blotter lowlight of the day comes courtesy of our friends at Lakewood Patch, who note that the little tykes on Donald Avenue are packing more than sippy cups these days.

Continue reading »

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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Changes at Reddstone

Posted By on Tue, Nov 29, 2011 at 2:29 PM


Things are heating up in the kitchen at Reddstone, the Battery Park watering hole that opened in 2007. As of Thursday, December 1, co-owner and executive chef Josh Kabat is out; Kabat’s long-time sous chef Jeff James is in.

While the food at this funky fun stop has always been above average, James says the new direction is definitely upscale. Among other things, that means an emphasis on monthly chef’s specials, and a renewed focus on local, artisanal breads and produce.

Helping James with his kitchen duties is sous chef — and girlfriend — Crystal Golias; the couple met while working at the former Cleveland Grill and went on to cook together at Luxe. In addition to serving as the chef’s right-hand gal, Golias crafts all the bar’s pastries and desserts from scratch.

“The gloves are off,” says an excited James. “I’m gonna tear things up!”

Reddstone is at 1261 West 76th St. Call 216-651-6969 or visit for more information. — Elaine T. Cicora

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Video: Black Friday at Victoria Secret Looks Fun

Posted By on Tue, Nov 29, 2011 at 2:26 PM


From Southpark Mall in Strongsville from Black Friday. Lord help those employees.

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Science Proves Bengals Player Flopped

Posted By on Tue, Nov 29, 2011 at 2:12 PM


By now you've probably seen this massive WWF performance by the Bengals' Jerome Simpson from Sunday's game against the Browns. Video below if you haven't.

Now, has broken down the physics of the "altercation," using weight, speed, trajectory, and equations to prove that Simpson is a big fat fake lying faker.



There's more where that came from, so click on over and get scienced.

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