It's Groundhog Day, which means furry animals are manhandled by chubby men who hold the groundhogs high in the sky and proclaim something about something. We forget, really. Where's Bill Murray?
There's the most famous Marmota monax, Phil, of course. He/it saw his shadow, which means we're getting another six weeks of winter. But not so fast, my friend.
Back here in Ohio, you see, we have Buckeye Chuck. And since "Chuck" is an inherently cooler name than "Phil," we trust him a lot more. Chuck pissed all over Phil's prediction, as he looked down, didn't see his shadow, and gladly shouted that spring would be arriving soon. Then he made fun of Phil for being a Steelers fan.
This will conclude all weather-related updates on the blog today.
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