Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club. Because No News is Bad News.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Summer’s Here, Resist the Urge to Strap Bottle Rockets to Random Things

Posted By on Fri, May 25, 2012 at 9:41 AM

A great, glorious idea.
  • A great, glorious idea.

The urge is understandable. The sun’s up, temperatures are hitting new highs, the sky is that perfect postcard shade of blue, and all you want to do is go outside and blow shit up. Fireworks in mailboxes. Black Cats in a muffler. Handfuls of trunk-bought foreign ordinance randomly chucked out the window of a moving car. You know the drill.

A popular subspecies of this desire is the need to strap bottle rockets onto movable objects, and watch as, instead of speeding off with extra velocity, they blow up. Hard as it might be, this is a desire you probably should keep in your pocket, ‘ask us. If you need any further evidence, consider: you might end up like this guy.

According to Newsnet5, a 25-year-old Eastlake resident, likely under the spell of the nice weather, decided to strap a bottle rocket to one of those styrofoam planes yesterday. This one seemed to have gotten a little wind under its wings before clash landing.

Police responded and found a resident spraying water from a garden hose on to a pine tree that was located up against the house.

The homeowner said she heard some type of firework and then heard a male say, "The tree is on fire. That's not good."

Also, from personal experience, strapping bottle rockets to Matchbox cars is never as good, or burn-free, as it sounds.

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Cleveland Scene works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Cleveland and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Cleveland's true free press free.

Read the Digital Print Issue

September 23, 2020

View more issues


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.