Support Local Journalism. Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Early Morning Mowing Can Be Serious Business in the Suburbs

Posted By on Tue, Jun 5, 2012 at 10:52 AM

mowing.jpg

The battle lines of suburbia are demarcated by white picket fences, the battleground itself littered with landmines of leaves, grass, porches, and other ticking bombs set to square off neighbor against neighbor. Hey, asshole, why don't you try painting your shutters so our property values don't go down? And really, a bonfire on a Monday night? Some of us have to work, dickweed. And I like sleeping with the windows open, but all I smell now is your dumb fire pit.

This is how wars start, brimming with passive aggressive taunts and muffled vulgarities. All it takes is one spark to set off the fuse, and in suburbia, early-morning mowing is perfect tinder.

Let's go out to Ashtabula County via the Star Beacon and check in on two neighbors whose disagreement over some A.M. grass trimming might end up in court.


The victim said he was cutting grass around 7 a.m. when a neighbor approached, grabbed the grass-cutter and told him to stop mowing because his 4-year-old daughter was sleeping, deputies said. As the mower was returning home, the neighbor returned, pushed the victim aside, shut off the tractor and then threatened harm if he didn’t stop mowing, according to a report.

Deputies spoke to the alleged assailant, who gave a different story. The man said his neighbor began cutting grass around 6 a.m., and ignored his request to delay mowing until 7 a.m. The man admitted shutting off the neighbor’s mower and making remarks, but denied issuing any threats, he told deputies.

We're no history buffs, but we're pretty sure this is what started the Hatfield and McCoy feud.

Tags: ,

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at news@clevescene.com.

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club


Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.


Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.


Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club for as little as $5 a month.

Read the Digital Print Issue

December 1, 2021

View more issues

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Calendar

© 2021 Cleveland Scene: 737 Bolivar Rd., Suite 4100, Cleveland, OH 44115, (216) 505-8199
Logos and trademarks on this site are property of their respective owners.


Website powered by Foundation