Support Local Journalism. Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Man Opposes Buckeye as State Tree Because It's "Bisexual"

Posted By on Mon, Jun 18, 2012 at 12:01 PM

ohio-state-buckeye.jpg

Via Deadspin, a letter to the editor in the Findlay Courier from a fella who discovered that the Buckeye tree is both male and female (technically) and as such is bisexual and undeserving of state-tree status in Ohio.

He's obviously joking, but it's some money satire.

Something in the "Just Ask" column (Page A3, May 29) disturbed me. According to the column, "the Ohio buckeye, Aesculus glabra, bears flowers with both male and female organs on the same tree. It is a monoecious species."

I couldn't believe this, so I did some research and, sure enough, a science website (forestry.about.com) states that "the Ohio buckeye is polygamo-monoecious, bearing both bisexual and male flowers."

The buckeye is our state tree and most of us gladly wear the nickname, "buckeyes." But it is shameful and unacceptable that a bisexual tree should represent us! We are flaunting the Holy Bible!

I urge everyone to contact their state representative and demand legislation removing the buckeye as our state tree and condemning the use of the term "buckeye" as a nickname for residents of Ohio.

Does anyone know if carnations are bisexual?

Jim Flechtner, Findlay

A couple of notes: 1) Forestry.about.com is most certainly a "science website," much like Bang Brothers is a Sex Ed website. 2) Carnations are omnisexual and into open relationships and bondage. Everyone knows that.

Tags: , ,

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at news@clevescene.com.

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club


Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.


Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.


Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club for as little as $5 a month.

Read the Digital Print Issue

December 1, 2021

View more issues

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Calendar

© 2021 Cleveland Scene: 737 Bolivar Rd., Suite 4100, Cleveland, OH 44115, (216) 505-8199
Logos and trademarks on this site are property of their respective owners.


Website powered by Foundation