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Monday, February 25, 2013

Cleveland Officer Mourns Shooting, Finds Support at Local Strip Joint

Posted By on Mon, Feb 25, 2013 at 4:25 PM


Detective Christopher Ereg is a busy man. When he's not in hot pursuit of ’79 Malibus firing phantom bullets, he’s in even hotter pursuit of a decent lap dance: Ereg was one of three off-duty officers at the downtown Crazy Horse early Friday morning when the strip club reported an altercation followed by gunfire. Whether or not Ereg and the other two officers, Charles Schultz and Jon Periandri, were embroiled in the conflict is still unclear; a suspect was arrested for “disorderly conduct and intoxication,” reports the PD.

Ereg was one of the 13 officers involved in the deadly shooting of Timothy Russell and Malissa Williams last November. Ereg’s coworkers have delicately tried to advise him that Fat Joe lyrics aren’t the best protocol for on- or off-duty behavior, but say that his penchant for “making it rain” has nonetheless gotten out of control. “I just can’t stop — bullets, cash money, what have you,” he wept, choked with remorse. We’re just glad he’s on the way to recovery, seeking moral support and a newfound sense of purpose in the most storied sources of emotional succor: glitter-flecked cleavage and g-strings.

Sike! Ereg hasn’t expressed any contrition about the shootings—in fact, this is pretty much par for the course with him: he was awarded a Medal of Heroism in 2007 for, uh, saving the life of a suspect he wrongfully fired at. But he'll still take those titties please, thanks.

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