Join the Cleveland Scene Press Club. Because No News is Bad News.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving's Weed Celebration Was a Mustache Celebration, Say the Cavs

Posted By on Wed, Nov 12, 2014 at 11:24 AM

Dear reader, it’s with some trepidation that I reveal myself as the possible inspiration for an allegedly illicit handshake shared by Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving on the conclusion of Monday night’s win over the Pelicans.

Truth be told, from where I sit in the upper reaches of press row – what I cheekily call the “Uecker Zone” – it wasn’t possible to see the elaborate handshake the two stars shared after igniting a second-half comeback.

Fortunately for us, we live in a surveillance state. The video was captured during the Fox Sports broadcast. (Fred McLeod wryly comments “we need to learn that handshake” generating a guffaw by Austin Carr.) It naturally resurfaced on the web sparking some controversy.

At the conclusion of the elaborate hand jive, the young Cavs stars raise their forefinger and thumb to their mouth in a manner reminiscent of Jack Nicholson in Easy Rider.

Despite the advances we’ve made in gay rights and aerosol pancake batter, it’s apparently easier to accept that athletes beat their wives/girlfriends than that they smoke marijuana. Just don’t ask Bill Simmons about this.

So it’s perhaps not surprising that after the video surfaced, the Cavaliers felt compelled to suggest that it is not what it might appear to be:

“To clarify, they are quickly sharpening the end of an imaginary mustache at the end of their exchange with each other. It has nothing to do with smoking a joint as some blogs (and even some mainstream folks now) are suggesting/reporting.” [Emphasis mine.]

This sort of shocked me. You see, I have a handlebar mustache, and have been known to twist and twirl the end of it when bored, Dick Dastardly-style.

There’s no conclusion but that I have been made the fall-guy for this handshake.

Now don’t be fooled, I’m no rube. If one looks hard enough you can find my past connections with illicit publications. They’ve clearly sussed out their patsy well. They saw me coming in the under-halls of the Q and figured I was a guy they could pin it on if things went wrong.

It’s alright. I’m a team player. But we definitely need to keep Josh Gordon away from the Cavs games.

Tags: , , , , ,

We welcome readers to submit letters regarding articles and content in Cleveland Scene. Letters should be a minimum of 150 words, refer to content that has appeared on Cleveland Scene, and must include the writer's full name, address, and phone number for verification purposes. No attachments will be considered. Writers of letters selected for publication will be notified via email. Letters may be edited and shortened for space.

Email us at

Cleveland Scene works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of Cleveland and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep Cleveland's true free press free.

Read the Digital Print Issue

September 23, 2020

View more issues


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.