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Thursday, July 9, 2015

Celebrating 'Ohio Man,' the Hero the Buckeye State Deserves

Posted By on Thu, Jul 9, 2015 at 7:57 AM

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It's a bird! It's a plane! It's the Buckeye State's very own Ohio Man, a curious vigilante who spends his or her time battling Florida Man for the championship belt of weirdness.

Here, we round up all the top head-cocking headlines from the last few weeks to show you what Ohio Man and Ohio Woman have been up to.

Ohio Man Stabs Landscaper Over Grass Trimmings

Just this week, Ohio Man was convicted of protecting the state from careless lawn workers. Last August, 71-year-old local John Fennick was displeased with the way his lawn was handled by a landscaper he hired. Upon seeing grass trimmings on top of his truck, Fennick attacked the 19-year-old landscaper with a knife, stabbing him in the shoulder. Fennick has been convicted of felonious assault and will remain under house arrest until his August sentencing.

Ohio Man Rides Roller Coaster 12,000 Times

Even Ohio Man needs his days off. On his, Ohio man Gary Coleman spends his time on King's Island coaster "Diamondback," so much so that Coleman has ridden it 12,000 times in six years. The 73-year-old explained it's the best coaster he's ever ridden so obviously he can't stop riding it. As of June 27, Coleman hit his 12,000 ride benchmark and promises to continue patroning King's Island, stating he'll keep riding "Diamondback" until either his body or its gives out. 

Ohio Woman Defeats Parking Ticket with Grammar

Proof that all those laborious English lessons in high school do pay off: Ohio woman Andrea Cammelleri won a parking ticket appeal July 4 by citing a grammatical error in a parking sign. The Middletown hero parked in an area banning "motor vehicle camper, trailer, farm implemented and/or non-motorized vehicle." Since her car was a motor vehicle and not a "motor vehicle camper," Cammelleri was able to argue her way out of a ticket by arguing improper comma use. If the sign had separated "motor vehicle" from "camper" in its sign with a comma, Cammelleri would have been in violation of the ordinance, showing just how important it is to pay attention in English class. 

(Formerly Homeless) Ohio Man Runs for President

Everyone knows one of Ohio Man's strongest superhuman abilities is his voice. Columbus' Ted Williams showed the state (and the country) his chops a few years ago when a video of him speaking in a smooth, soulful timbre went viral. Homeless at the time, Williams lucked out by being featured across the country on television and earning enough money through appearances to find himself a home. Now, Williams is making news again by announcing his run for president June 30. Running as an independent candidate, the golden-voiced gent wants to focus on veterans', housing and education issues that face the country. 

Ohio Woman Alerts Police of Criminally Bad Chinese Food

Ohio Man (and Woman) is always there to let us know when there's danger afoot, even down to what we eat. This week, Alliance's Tracey McCloud called 911 to report Chinese food that wasn't to her liking. The 44 year old was subsequently charged with misuse of 911, a misdemeanor, and will appear in court this Friday. 

Ohio Man and Woman Eat Pizza Naked, Get Arrested, Pee in Police Car

Pizza-loving is no crime. However, enjoying some 'za naked, drunk and in public is. Ohio couple Alexandria Mauer and Kenneth Gillespie were both charged with public indecency after being caught in their car nude, Mauer eating pizza off of Gillespie. Mauer, 24, was also charged with an OVI, while her 33-year-old boyfriend picked up a disorderly conduct charge after urinating in a police car. We're sure we'll see these two again, especially after Mauer jumped out of her family's moving car just two hours after being released into their custody. 

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