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Thursday, July 4, 2019

Ohio is Horniest State for 'America' in America, Porn Survey Declares

Posted By on Thu, Jul 4, 2019 at 3:21 PM

click to enlarge PHOTO BY BENJAMIN THOMAS
  • Photo by Benjamin Thomas

The pornographic video site XHamster regularly surveys its users and releases the data findings in conjunction with various events and pop culture moments.

For example, during last summer's hot World Cup action, the site released findings that traffic during the matches increased the most in Morroco. (Warning: Almost every link you click here takes you to XHamster's PR page, so basically you'll be on a porn site.)

And when the big college admissions scandal broke earlier this year, the site said searches for "Loughlins" spiked when actress Lori Loughlin (aka Aunt Becky from Full House) was reported to be involved. (Or maybe it was "Laughlin" — the press release for that one is all over the place, spelling-wise.)



Last summer, the site did a special Fourth of July porn data news dump that looked at which search terms were used most in each state, per capita. In that "study," Washington DC was home to the most searches for "MAGA" — which, I mean, that is where Donald Trump lives. Is it even plausible he's never done that search on a porn site?

Last Independence Day, Idaho nabbed the top spot for the most searches for "America" on the porn site. But this year, according to a Fourth of July tweet, Ohio has the honor.

And the Buckeye State's horniness for the USA is way beyond that of every other state.
click to enlarge d_lwvuvu4aek8vs.5d1e37247e0a4.jpg


The site says its data shows that "America" has been searched by Ohioans 35,260 times, presumably since last year's survey. The next closest state is Alabama, which searched the term 12,492 times, according to XHamster.
Not to kink shame, but America seems like a very odd (and potentially xenophobic) thing to fetishize. Is it the idea of America? The shape? The Florida phallus? Purple mountain majesties?

Maybe it's that sexy flag?

For the record, we have absolutely no idea what kind of videos come up when you search "America" on porn sites, but we imagine they involve sparklers, Mountain Dew and overly inflated and unjustified self-confidence.

Either way, someone should tell the Ohio House of Representatives just how effin' patriotic Ohio's porn habits are.

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