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Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Scene's Best Dong-Related Content of the Past Decade

Posted By on Tue, Dec 29, 2020 at 1:06 PM

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In his essay in support of the Scene Press Club earlier this year, Cleveland city councilman Kerry McCormack correctly noted that a well-functioning city was dependent on an engaged and well-funded press. Supporting Scene, in that case, was something residents and readers should do, for coverage of City Hall, the arts, the food scene and all manner of spicy takes on local politics and power.

Plus, the esteemed Ward 3 rep said, "Otherwise, who else is going to report that 'Genital Street Signs Are Overtaking Tremont'"?



While meant as a light-hearted joke, the point stands. If not for Scene, many dong-related stories would go otherwise unreported around these parts.

As we put 2020 to bed, and with it this decade (depending on which cap to the decade you believe in), we thought it was high time to revisit some of the best dick-related stories in recent memory. Without further ado, a trip down phallic memory lane:

1. Genital Street Signs Overtake Tremont (2020)

Genital streets signs have been taking over Tremont for the past several weeks. Though wind and/or God-fearing concerned citizens have removed some of the handiest of this local prankster's handiwork, "College and Dong" is an intersection that still exists, as of Tuesday evening. 

2. Someone Stuck a Dildo on a Cleveland Police Cruiser (2019)

Cleveland.com reports that the department is investigating, though that seems like a waste of time and effort. 

A top-five dong-related moment in Cleveland history indeed.

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3. Cleveland Redditors are Documenting a Lost Dildo's Trek Down Carnegie Ave. (2015)

See:

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4. Fox 8 Drew a Penis to Demonstrate Google Draw (2016)

Gabe Spiegel, for his part, said almost immediately after that it "didn't really turn out like I envisioned." 

5a. Some Class Act Drew a Huge Penis in the Snow This Morning (2018
5b. Another Snow Day, Another Cleveland Snow Penis (2019)
5c. Giant Snow Penis Causes Trouble (2011)

Give Clevelanders snow and you're gonna get snow dicks. Just a fact of life.
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6. Lakewood 911 Audio: 'I've Been Hard for Five Days' (2014)

Turns out, the medical advisories are true, as one poor Lakewood resident discovered.

7. Defiant Penis Murals Now on Display in Canton (2018)

We all love public murals. Even these.

8. A Cleveland Artist Made Trump's Face Using More Than 2,000 Dildos (2020)

"I don't know if Trump supporters will like it or whether it would change anyone's mind," he said. "Maybe someone would look at it and think, 'Yeah, this guy is a dick and I'm a dick for helping him win.'" 

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Happy new year, everyone. Let 2021 and the next decade have less nationwide strife and more common ground over juvenile humor.

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