Diversion of the Day

Monday, January 28, 2008

Diversion of the Day: Classic Carl Monday! Oh My!

Posted By on Mon, Jan 28, 2008 at 5:08 AM

In the wake of Gus Garcia-Roberts' recent special report on Carol Monday's going soft, I present to you some old-school Carl -- like 1989 old. In this classic I-Team report, Carl busts a Cleveland cop playing softball on duty. His hidden cameras catch the "RoboCops'" clean-up hitter changing out of his police uni and into softball gear in the parking lot, then, after the game, changing back into his work duds and hitting the street. Stay tuned until the end, when Carl pimps his next report -- about a grocery store with old meat on its shelf. "How old is old?" the male anchor asks. "Well," Carl says. "How 'bout four years old?" "Oh my!" the female anchor cries out, and all is right in the world. -- Joe P. Tone

Friday, January 25, 2008

Diversion(s) of the Day: Hash, Nash, and ... the Cure!

Posted By on Fri, Jan 25, 2008 at 5:38 AM

It's Choose Your Own Adventure Day on this glorious Friday, a diversion for every mood. Had a rough week? Take a cue from Chris Tucker and Ice Cube, who've long had Fridays down to a science. Bored, with nothing on tonight's agenda? Track down last-minute tickets to tonight's Cavs-Suns game, and to warm up, watch Steve Nash brew his patented magic -- on a skateboard. That doesn't do it for you? Well, then, we're not sure what will. But the Cure might have an idea:

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Diversion of the Day: The Hills girls check out Iraq

Posted By on Thu, Jan 24, 2008 at 7:17 AM

OK, so they're a little overdressed for Baghdad ...
Today's excuse to put off work for just a few more minutes comes courtesy of the humor web site McSweeneys and Wendy Molyneux, a board-certified weirdo who occasionally writes for the site. Molyneux, who recently published a book, penned one of my favorite McSweeneys pieces a while back, a guide to talking to your kids about drugs and other delicate topics. ("CHILD: What are drugs, and should I do them? MOM: Do you have any? CHILD: No. MOM: Then let Mommy watch CSI Miami.") This time around, Molyneux imagines what would happen if Lauren and the rest of The Hills girls sojourned to Iraq. It's short, silly, and will put off that spreadsheet for at least 45 more seconds. -- Joe P. Tone

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Huckabee the frontrunner for Jesus' endorsement

Posted By on Wed, Jan 23, 2008 at 5:54 AM

Jesus and Chuck Norris were at the gym, and they both agree: Huckabee's in the lead.
As the presidential primaries heat up, you, the undecided voter, are probably asking yourself the only question that really needs asking before casting your ballot: Who would Jesus vote for? To help you along, Miami New Times, our sister paper in the tropics, has created a patented Crucifix Rating System (CRS)® to reveal which candidate is closest to God. (A maximum five crosses equals a strenuous holy endorsement.) DEMOCRATS: Hillary Clinton: Yes! Something about this lady reminds Jesus of his immaculate mother. They have the same eyes … or maybe it’s the nose. When she teared up in New Hampshire, Jesus did too. They both employ the same campaign managers, and are believed to have gotten a volume discount on that piece of advice. Hillary: 4 1/2 crosses...

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Diversion of the Day: On MLK Day, Bill Clinton Had a Dream ...

Posted By on Wed, Jan 23, 2008 at 5:46 AM

Today's YouTube Life Lesson comes courtesy of Bill Clinton, who proves that even former presidents need their full eight hours. If you haven't seen it yet, this should make you feel way better about nodding off in your cubicle this afternoon.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Diversion of the Day: Clinton, Obama ... Aw, Screw it. Crank Dat Slater!

Posted By on Tue, Jan 22, 2008 at 9:00 AM

C-Notes woke up feeling extra American this morning, after spending the evening watching dudes get flung from the top of the new American Gladiators pyramid, so we wanted to start your day with some footage from last night's heated Clinton-Obama debate. But then we found out that the stock market had suffered a Spearsean melt-down, and were no longer feeling so interested in the affairs of the world. So, we present to you a slightly less serious video to start your morning: A Saved By the Bell/Crank Dat montage!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Diversion of the Day: LeBron James Crams on DJ

Posted By on Mon, Jan 21, 2008 at 5:29 AM

The Cavs are in Miami tonight, which means Damon Jones will be once again reminiscing about his days with the Heat, where he was a starter and had his best year ever, scoring 11.6 point per game and soaking up the South Beach glam. In honor of his return, today's somethin' to break the monotony stars D-Jones with help from LeBron James, commentary from Shaquille O'Neal, and a guest appearance from the great Tractor Traylor. Enjoy. -- Joe P. Tone


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