Friday, June 23, 2017

88-Year-Old Ohio Man Says One-Eyed Hooker Stole His Wallet After Morning Rendezvous

Posted By on Fri, Jun 23, 2017 at 3:21 PM

It's not every day, or really any day, that you get to write that headline. But today is that day, and let's cherish it because it will probably never come again.

Police in Springfield, Ohio, relay the woeful tale of the elderly gentleman who earlier on Wednesday got the attention of some cops around 4 in the afternoon.

“Officers spoke with (the victim) who stated that a one-eyed woman stole his wallet,” the report says.

Ah, yes, the one-eyed thief story. Heard that a million times, they probably thought.

But the man continued: It was actually a one-eyed hooker that he had picked up earlier that day, around 9:30 a.m., because you gotta get the day started somehow, who was the culprit.

Turns out the woman absconded with the man's wallet after the interlude and used his credit card over the next two hours. No arrests were made, however, despite a witness, because there was a lack of probable cause.
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Brian Windhorst to Cavs Fans: Everybody Chill

Posted By on Fri, Jun 23, 2017 at 2:34 PM


Yesterday on 850 WKNR Brian Windhorst addressed the current state of the Cavaliers in the wake of David Griffin's departure and the 8,574 rumors about what's going to happen going forward. A couple callers dialed in to complain about the Cavaliers’ franchise and how they gave up all of their assets and asked about all of the rumors of LeBron James leaving for Los Angeles. Brian Windhorst was having none of it. Here’s what he said:

“Of course (giving up the assets) was justified. Because the moves, even though you don’t want to go backwards, the moves got you the Championship. This core team got you the Championship. This team got you to the Finals this year. If it were easy to win Championships year after year after year, you would do it. But what I’m saying is, the Cavs had to make decisions to put themselves in the best position to win, and they did that. And as a result, they do not have many more maneuvers to make. That’s just reality. But I’m telling you, they are very happy with the move that they made and they’re very happy with the position that they’re in right now. The window for them and the way for them to be able to improve their roster is narrow, but it’s narrow because their team is so good. And yes, everyone would love for them to be able to go out there and trade Iman Shumpert for a guy that’s better and would be able to guard Kevin Durant, but those moves aren’t available to them. Of course it’s not ideal but that’s reality. And the situation is, they’ve been to three straight Finals! Why do you think that three straight Finals doesn’t happen very often? Why do you think there’s never been three straight years of the same teams playing each other in the Finals? Because it’s really, really hard to maintain a team that’s good year after year after year. And this is hard that’s happening. It’s not a failure, it’s just a reality!”

Windhorst continued, later on, to comment on LeBron James and the Cavaliers’ future:

“Nobody, nobody knows what LeBron’s going to do next year. I don’t care what sources they have...I don’t care what sources say in September, I don’t care what they say in December, I don’t care what sources close to Gloria James say in January, I don’t care what Savannah James’ hairdresser says in February, I don’t care what Rich Paul’s manicurist says in March, I don’t care what Maverick Carter’s barber says in April. What else? I don’t care what, um, LeBron’s landscaper says in May. It only matters what the lay of the land is one year from now in June. Where the Cavs are a year from now, how next season ends, how the season after goes, is going to determine what LeBron is going to do with the Cavs. And when I’ve said this, the retort has been, ‘Well, what if he was a free agent now,’ and I’d say, ‘he’d probably re-sign with the Cavs for one year because he’d want to see what the future held.’ And next year, one of the things that’s going to be an issue is that Kyrie and Kevin Love will be going into the last year of their contracts and you have to make some decisions. And those decisions exist.

But even if the Cavs had gone 82-0 this year, it was still going to be an issue with Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving next year, because that’s the nature of the NBA...I really want to slap Cleveland upside the head. You have a SENSATIONAL team here. You have a team that’s been to the Finals three times. You have a great chance to get to the Finals next year. Enjoy next year and see how things develop after that! Stop focusing on the transactional stuff that’s a year away; focus on the transactional stuff of today. There of course are pressures, but some day, LeBron is going to leave. Some day Kyrie Irving is going to leave and some day Kevin Love is going to leave. Those things are going to happen. But the goal for the team is to extend the window as long as possible and the moves that they have undertaken over the last several years have got the window wide open. They still have a great chance to win the Championship next year. You don’t know how healthy the Warriors are going to be! You don’t know if they’re going to be able re-sign all of their dudes. You don’t know if there is going to be some issue that’s unforeseen. That’s why you do it. And that’s the position the Cavs are in. The Cavs are NOT in a terrible position; they’re in a wonderful position! Do not lose sight of that! It’s really short-sighted and small-minded to not recognize how good of a position they’re in. I mean, teams are out there right now, offering the sun, the moon and the stars to move up into the lottery. Why? So that they could dream of one day getting their hands on a player like Kyrie Irving. My goodness, you have (Kyrie)! Celebrate that you have him!”
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Browns Tackle Joe Thomas Takes His Talents to 'Celebrity Family Feud' This Summer

Posted By on Fri, Jun 23, 2017 at 2:16 PM

  • Wikipedia photo by Erik Drost

You already know Cleveland Browns offensive tackle Joe Thomas thanks to his on-field talents as well as hilarious Twitter presence.

Now, the Cleveland Brown takes his quick wit and arm strength to the Family Feud stage — the Celebrity Family Feud stage to be exact. Thomas is part of the NFL All Star team going to toe to toe with an NFL Legends team for an upcoming episode of the Steve Harvey-hosted game show.

Thomas' teammates include Pittsburgh Steelers running back Le'Veon Bell, Arizona Cardinals cornerback Patrick Peterson, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Derrick Johnson and Houston Texans wide receiver DeAndre Hopkins. If the guys win, they'll donate their cash prize to the Professional Athletes Foundation.

You can catch the already-taped episode July 9 on ABC.

Check here for the whole Celebrity Family Feud summer lineup.

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Akron's Beloved Luigi's Is Not Closing, Despite Internet Rumors

Posted By on Fri, Jun 23, 2017 at 1:55 PM

Don't worry, Luigi's fans, the cheesiest salad in the Land isn't going anywhere. - PHOTO VIA RENEED7/INSTAGRAM
  • Photo via reneed7/Instagram
  • Don't worry, Luigi's fans, the cheesiest salad in the Land isn't going anywhere.
The rumors aren't true. Akron's classic Italian restaurant Luigi's is staying open, despite what the internet might be telling you.

Wednesday, Facebook users were in a tizzy after a post that appeared to be from Luigi's stated: “We regret to inform you that Luigi’s Restaurant era is coming to an end."

However, the post was regarding a Luigi's Restaurant in Scotland that was closing, not the one in Akron. Before the "coming to an end" line, the post literally read: "To our loyal customers and the whole community of Fife."

Fife, people.

Jen Mock, an office assistant at the Akron restaurant, told the Akron Beacon Journal that after a rash of phone calls from worried customers, she about died when she found the original post and realized it was about a Scottish eatery.

“It’s nice to know everybody was upset when they thought we were closing,” Mock said.

Just another lesson in why people shouldn't believe everything they see on Facebook. Maybe read the whole post next time?

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How to Know When It's Safe to Swim in Lake Erie

Posted By on Fri, Jun 23, 2017 at 1:53 PM

  • Photo via livecleveland/Instagram
As the sun and humidity begin to permeate Northeast Ohio, it's only right and natural to want to head to your local swimming hole. But with troubling reports of algae blooms and unsafe bacteria contamination in the Great Lake, how does one know when it's safe to take a dip?

Mary Clifton, recreation programs manager at the Ohio Department of Health, says that while no beach is ever officially closed in Ohio, there is an easy way to check for contamination.

The Ohio Department of Health's BeachGuard website offers up-to-date announcements on water contamination levels, based on daily water testing conducted by a team of state and county officials and scientists.

While swimming in Lake Erie, or any of Ohio's lakes, is a personal choice, Clifton says it's always best to check first.

"In Ohio we issue advisories so people can make the decisions that they are comfortable with," Clifton told Scene.

If an unsavory amount of bacteria is found at a beach, the spot will be listed with either a yellow, orange or red flag. You can guess which one is the worst.

Yellow Flag - Bacteria Contamination Alert

Posted when the level of bad bacteria in the water has reached unsafe levels and could make you sick. Children, the elderly and those in ill health or weakened immune systems are advised not to swim.

Orange Flag - Recreational Public Health Advisory
WARNING - An algal bloom is present and/or algal toxins have been detected. Swimming and wading are not recommended for: children, pregnant or nursing women, those with certain medical conditions and pets.

Red Flag - Elevated Recreational Public Health Advisory
DANGER - Avoid all contact with the water. Algal toxins at unsafe levels have been detected.

Clifton says that last year saw a relatively low amount of harmful advisories, but with so much rain this year, that number may rise.

Within the next month, ODH plans to roll out a feature that helpfully sends updated alerts directly to BeachGuard users' phones.

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The Great Lakes' Asian Carp Problem Draws Near

Posted By on Fri, Jun 23, 2017 at 1:03 PM

Asian carp spell trouble for the Great Lakes. Don't be this guy.
  • Asian carp spell trouble for the Great Lakes. Don't be this guy.
Concerning news out of the Great Lakes has become fairly routine, what with a soaring record of mismanagement already settling in across the region. The latest headline takes us to Chicago, where a live Asian carp has been caught about nine miles away from Lake Michigan, below the T.J. O'Brien Lock and Dam.

This is troubling, because it confirms that the large, feisty fish is capable of breaking through a network of electric barriers meant to keep the species from swimming into the Great Lakes. Asian carp have already wreaked havoc on the Mississippi River system, and it's eye-opening to consider what they could do to the Great Lakes, where, as the Chicago Tribune lays it out, "scientists say they could compete with native species, unravel aquatic food chains and devastate the region's $7 billion fishing industry."

“This news is deeply troubling and the threat of Asian carp has long been a concern of this Task Force and experts across the Great Lakes,” said the co-chairs of the House Great Lakes Task Force, which includes U.S. Rep. Marcy Kaptur. “This is further evidence that action must be taken to protect our Great Lakes from this grievous threat. We urge this Administration to release the Brandon Road Lock and Dam Study as required by the recently introduced Stop Asian Carp Now Act, so we can move forward to keep the Asian carp out of the Great Lakes before it is too late.”

See, under President Donald Trump, implementation of the Asian carp containment plan has been delayed indefinitely. It's being variously "evaluated" by government and non-government organizations, the administration has said, not unlike a whole spectrum of environmental programs these days.

But observers point out that Asian carp aren't known for dilly-dallying. They raise hell on their food-chain competitors and leap 10 feet out of the water at velocities that have seriously injured humans. (Imagine someone throwing a bowling ball at your face.) Today's news is reigniting calls to get things moving on this Asian carp situation.

A 2016 study underscored the reality that the fish could absolutely overtake our own little Lake Erie. In many ways, the $300 million Great Lakes Restoration Initiative funding has been a core part of the solution staving off an invasion so far. (Trump's administration doesn't much care for all that GLRI funding, either.)

From the Washington Post last year:

Asian carp, which grow quickly and can eat up to 20 percent of their body weight each day, could come to make up 34 percent of the total fish weight in the lake, making them the most abundant fish in terms of biomass.

“It’s very sobering,” Marc Gaden, spokesman for the Great Lakes Fishery Commission, told the Associated Press. “Lake Erie is one of the most productive inland fisheries in the world. It wouldn’t be as valuable by any stretch of the imagination if one out of every three pounds of fish were Asian carp.”

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Avon Lake Man Stole 500 Yard Signs Because "They Were Distracting"

Posted By on Fri, Jun 23, 2017 at 11:14 AM

Stolen yard signs from Avon Lake yards found stacked and neatly arranged. - PHOTO COURTESY OF AVON LAKE POLICE
  • Photo courtesy of Avon Lake Police
  • Stolen yard signs from Avon Lake yards found stacked and neatly arranged.
Avon Lake Police arrested 62-year-old John Hoelzel yesterday, after he was caught on video removing a legally set up yard sign.

And it turns out, this wasn't the man's first time stealing a yard sign. Over the past several months, police had received multiple complaints from Avon Lake residents about signs disappearing from their lawns.

More than 500 signs, to be exact.

When police discovered the signs, valued over $5,500, they were all together, neatly stacked and arranged at Hoelzel's residence. According to Avon Police, Hoelzel said he removed them because he felt they were distracting to drivers in the neighborhood.

Now, not all of the signs were posted up legally, but "a majority were there with proper approval," Fox 8 Cleveland reported.

Hoelzel was charged and released on a $1000 bond. He'll have to appear in court next week.

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