If you’re like most people, you’ve heard of sugar dating before. You may even have known a couple or two that involved one older, more affluent person and another younger, highly attractive person. The word on the street may even have been that they had a sugar daddy relationship.
However, it may also have seemed as if those doing the talking weren’t really sure what that means, and you wouldn’t be too far wrong. While most people have at least heard of sugar dating, most don’t truly understand what it’s all about. But that doesn’t mean they don’t like to think about it or fantasize about what it might be like to have a sugar daddy or sugar baby of their own.
The mere idea of sugar dating inspires a lot of different feelings in other people. On the one hand, it seems glamorous, fun, and exciting – like something out of a movie or a fairytale. But, as is the case with any alternative approach to dating, there are a lot of myths and misconceptions surrounding sugar dating, as well.
Here we’re get into everything you ever wanted to know about sugar dating. We’ll cover what it is, as well as what it isn’t. We’ll get into what really separates sugar dating from traditional dating. We’ll cover the benefits and drawbacks of becoming a sugar dater, cover a few common types of sugar relationships, and explore how someone new to the sugar bowl can best get started, as well.
What Is Sugar Dating?
Although many people don’t expressly think of it this way, every relationship is a partnership – an agreement between two people. Each person brings something different to the table, and then the two move forward together in the hopes of creating a life together that involves love, companionship, and mutual support on both sides.
However, even loving relationships tend to fall apart because of factors like unspoken expectations and unexpressed resentments neither party wants to even acknowledge, let alone talk about and work on. Sugar dating, on the other hand, is a uniquely honest approach to dating that takes destructive elements like those out of the equation altogether.
Sugar dating is honest
Sugar daters begin relationships (or arrangements, as they sometimes call them) by stating their respective needs and expectations right up front. If each party is on board with the other’s terms and deal-breakers, the relationship moves forward. Nothing’s ever hidden, implied, or assumed. Both parties know right away what the other person wants and expects, so there are no nasty surprises, wasted time, or broken hearts later.
Sugar dating is fun
Although no two sugar relationships are exactly alike, each has one important element in common – a focus on fun, romance, adventure, and mutual enjoyment. Sugar daters are generally tired of the disappointment and drama associated with traditional dating. They’re ready for something fresh and fulfilling – something that complements the extraordinary lives they’re intent on living – and they know they can find it in the sugar bowl.
Sugar dating is versatile
Although many sugar daters do prefer a more casual approach to their relationships, this isn’t necessarily the case across the board. Quite a few sugar daters are looking for lasting love or are at least very open to the possibility. Some sugar relationships are exclusive, while others are not. Ultimately, how things play out is up to the two people involved, just as it would be in any traditional relationship.
Sugar dating does frequently occur between one older person who is wealthy and financially successful and another younger person who is attractive, intelligent, vivacious, nurturing, and a wonderful companion in every way. It’s also common for the older person to be a man and the younger to be a woman, hence terms like sugar daddy and sugar baby.
However, this set-up can vary. Sugar relationships that involve older women and younger men also exist, as do same-sex sugar relationships, gender non-conforming relationships, and so forth. There are sugar relationships where the two people involved are fairly close in age, as well.
Sugar relationships are mutually beneficial. For example, a sugar daddy often chooses to help his sugar baby build a stable, satisfying life for herself. Meanwhile, the sugar baby offers her partner companionship, emotional support, and unconditional love. Each gives freely of their personal resources to make the relationship (and the other person’s life) better – something that should happen in all relationships but often doesn’t.
Both parties are typically high-value individuals who are tired of being used and taken advantage of by opportunists. Instead, they want mutually beneficial arrangements where they finally get back as much as they give, and they often find them in the sugar bowl.
Sugar Dating vs. Traditional Dating
The traditional dating scene these days leaves a lot to be desired, especially for high-value people who bring a lot to the table. You put yourself out there again and again, hoping to find the love, companionship, and support you’re looking for in a partner only to be repaid for your trouble with selfishness, self-absorption, and a complete lack of integrity.
It can seem as if nearly everyone is out for themselves anymore, interested only on what they can take from a potential partner and never in what they can give. It’s not your imagination, either. The world of traditional dating doesn’t really require people to be upfront, honest, and fair in the way they approach relationships, so they often just don’t bother.
Sugar dating offers high-value people who are tired of all that a chance to experience something different, and many of them find exactly what they’re looking for. Here’s a closer look at sugar dating vs traditional dating and how they stack up against each other.
In sugar dating, a new relationship begins with both parties sitting down together and deciding how that relationship is going to play out. Each person expresses their needs and wants as far as what they’re hoping to get out of the relationship. Each person agrees or disagrees with those terms.
Eventually, if both parties can come to agreement, the relationship moves forward. Each person both gives and receives, and things continue in a state of relative harmony. And if at any time anyone’s needs change, those things are addressed in a mature, level-headed manner. Breakups, when they do happen, are generally cordial and drama-free. Really, it’s the way all relationships should operate.
In traditional relationships, it’s considered taboo to state one’s needs, wants, or deal-breakers right out loud, especially out of the gate. As a result, people tend to pretend not to have any real needs or expectations. They then resort to tactics like mind games, passive-aggression, and guilt-tripping to get what they want from someone who may well not be OK with any of it.
That’s exactly why so many traditional relationships end in turmoil with both people managing heartbreak and shattered feelings to the best of their ability, and it happens to them over and over again. Before they know it, they find it really hard to trust others or even to believe in the power of love anymore.
In order for sugar relationships to be mutually beneficial, they need to operate on total honesty. For that reason, honesty is huge in the sugar bowl. Yes, that starts when two people meet, start dating, and ultimately decide to enter into a relationship or arrangement. However, it also continues in every way for as long as that relationship lasts.
In healthy sugar relationships, people don’t lie to or cheat on one another as a rule. There’s really no need, as the two people in the relationship set the rules and are open to renegotiating those rules as often as necessary. For example, if someone wants an open relationship, they respect their partner enough to say so right up front.
In traditional relationships, that whole taboo against saying what you really mean and asking for what you want keeps people from being truly honest with their partners. Cheating, distrust, dishonesty, and emotional pain result more often than not, and that’s a shame.
Choice in Partners
It’s not an accident that the sugar bowl is pretty much exclusively populated by high-value people who bring a lot to the table as a potential partner. (For example, think experienced, highly affluent older men and young, brilliant, vivacious young women with bright futures.)
It’s because these are the people that so often wind up taken advantage of in the world of traditional dating. Every successful, generous, well-to-do man knows what it’s like to have a woman use him for his money and leave him utterly heartbroken. And every young, beautiful woman can tell multiple stories about broke, abusive bad boys who’ve broken their hearts after cheating on them, lying to them, and treating them horrifically.
In the sugar bowl, valuable people finally have a chance to leave all that drama behind. They can meet, date, and fall in love with generous, loving partners who are just like them and are looking for the same things in a relationship. With traditional dating, you simply have to keep taking your chances and hoping for the best.
Common Sugar Dating Myths
At this point, you know what sugar dating is, as well as what makes it different from the traditional dating you might be used to. However, it’s just as important to know what sugar dating isn’t before you dive into the sugar bowl for yourself. The following are some of the most persistent myths out there about life as a sugar daddy or sugar baby.
“Sugar dating is prostitution”
Many people hear about the mutual benefits involved in sugar dating and instantly decide it’s prostitution when nothing could be further from the truth. Prostitution describes a practice in which someone pays another person for sex. That’s not at all what’s going on in a legitimate sugar relationship.
Sugar relationships are not transactional interactions between sellers and customers. Not all sugar relationships are serious or committed relationships (just like not all traditional relationships are), but they’re real relationships all the same. Many are every bit as complex, loving, and devoted as their traditional counterparts.
Sugar daddies enjoy using their resources to spoil their partners and make them feel like the queens they are. And sugar babies, in turn, take care of their daddies by sharing their vibrant energy and genuine interest and companionship in an honest and healthy way. Many traditional relationships and marriages are already like this, and they couldn’t be the furthest thing from prostitution, so it’s unfair and inaccurate to see sugar relationships differently.
“Sugar dating is always older men dating younger women”
Although many sugar relationships do involve age gaps, this is not something that’s the case across the board. For example, there are quite a few sugar relationships that involve an older sugar mama and a younger, male sugar baby.
There are also same-sex sugar relationships, as well as sugar relationships that involve little to no age gap at all. In other words, sugar relationships can potentially involve two people of any age or gender, and you will find this out for yourself should you ever decide to give sugar dating a try yourself.
“Sugar dating is about sex”
Even in the event someone realizes sugar dating is not prostitution, they may well still think sugar dating is somehow all about sex. They simply can’t get their heads around the fact that sugar relationships are genuine relationships in every way a traditional relationship would be, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Even casual sugar relationships are ultimately about companionship, fun, and adventure at their core.
That said, a sugar couple might well decide they’d like their relationship to become intimate at some point, but this is no different from a traditional couple who decides the same thing. Plus, it’s worth noting that there are completely platonic sugar relationships out there, as well, which it something you can rarely say about their traditional counterparts.
“Sugar relationships never get serious”
This is another common sugar dating myth that never seems to go away despite the fact that it’s entirely unfounded. Like traditional daters, many sugar daters do decide they prefer a more casual approach to sugaring. Many are too busy for a serious relationship or simply don’t feel ready for one, just like traditional daters who make the same choice.
However, sugar relationships can (and often do) get very serious. Some start out that way, because that’s very much what the two people involved were looking for. However, many others start more casual but ultimately transition into happy life-long relationships. Sugar daters fall madly in love with one another and decide they want to commit. Some go on to make that commitment “official” via traditional marriage or even to have families.
“You have to be a certain way to be a sugar dater”
It’s not uncommon for those unfamiliar with sugar dating to assume you need to be a very specific type of person to actually make it in the sugar bowl. To be more specific, people think you need to be a multimillionaire to be a sugar daddy and a flawless Barbie clone to be a sugar baby.
In reality, sugar daters as a group occupy quite a few different demographics. Every take on beauty, attractiveness, and financial stability is well-represented. All you really need in order to get a slice of the pie for yourself is the desire and ability to spoil or be spoiled.
Sugar Dating Pros and Cons
By now, you should have a pretty good idea of whether sugar dating might be a good fit for you or not. But while sugar dating definitely represents a refreshing change of pace for those looking for an alternative to traditional vanilla dating, it’s not a magic cure-all for all your dating woes.
It’s crucial to have a good read on all the pros and cons before you go diving right in so you can make an informed decision. Here are a few everyone should consider.
PRO: You gain access to better partners
Ask any sugar dater who eventually decided to make a full switch to sugaring what they like so much about it, and this is one of the first things they’ll tell you. Sugar daters on the whole are amazing partners, whether you’re the one doing the spoiling or the one getting spoiled.
In other words, they’re emotionally mature and truly understand how they should treat their partners. Sugar daddies are incredibly generous, romantic, and distinguished – like something out of a classic Hollywood film. And sugar babies are the sweetest, kindest, most vivacious partners anyone could possibly ask for.
And sugar daters are incredibly fascinating as people, too – successful, driven, attractive, intelligent, and completely dedicated to living life to the fullest on every level. They know what it’s like to be left wanting in a relationship, so they make it a point to show up for one another in every way they can.
CON: Sugar daters can be very busy
Sugar daters didn’t become as fascinating and desirable as they are in a vacuum. They make such incredible partners because they invest a lot of their time in being better, doing better, and making the absolute most of their lives. This can especially be the case with sugar daddies, as most maintain incredibly prestigious careers and busy professional lives.
That said, sugar dating is ideal for people who are willing and able to be accommodating when it comes to the amount of time their sugar partner will have for them, especially during the business week. Ideally, both people will also be highly independent, self-sustaining individuals, as this makes it easier to cope with a partner’s demanding schedule.
PRO: Sugar dating lets you taste the sweet life
Regardless of what other people may try to tell you, it’s natural and normal to want the very best the world has to offer. It’s OK to want a better life for yourself, experience the finer things in life, and long for a partner who’s on board with helping you achieve the things you want for yourself.
The sugar bowl absolutely has the capacity to offer you such a life. You can finally find out what it’s like to live the dream, see the world with an A-list partner who’s worthy of you, and ascend to that higher level you’ve always wished you had easier access to.
CON: You sometimes need to be discreet
If you’re the type of person who needs to discuss every detail of your personal relationships with everyone you know or post all about the people you date on social media, sugar dating may not be for you. Many sugar daters are important people who need to carefully curate their public image.
That said, privacy and discretion are incredibly important concerns for many of the people you’ll meet in the sugar bowl. That mean not spilling the dirt on the people you date there and keeping the details to yourself unless your sugar partner tells you it’s OK to do otherwise.
PRO: You can have whatever kind of relationship you want
The world of traditional dating really does run on assumptions, no matter how outmoded the associated thinking may be. People simply assume everyone they date is looking for a traditional relationship. It’s more or less taken for granted that the relationship in question will be monogamous, as well. And anyone who doesn’t want to do things that way is often viewed in an unfavorable light for no real reason.
Those sorts of assumptions and expectations don’t exist in the sugar bowl. Yes, many sugar daters are here looking for traditional commitments, marriage, someone to have children with, and all the rest of it. However, quite a few sugar daters actually prefer to keep things casual and open for a variety of reasons.
Many first-time sugar daters who prefer an unconventional or non-monogamous approach to relationships are blown away by how easy it was to find a partner who was into that, too. They also find the lack of general judgment in the sugar bowl to be incredibly refreshing.
Common Types of Sugar Relationships
Sugar dating isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to dating by any means. Unlike with traditional dating, there are several different types of sugar relationships and arrangements that are considered “the norm” in the sugar bowl. Here’s a closer look at some of the most common ones you’ll likely see once you start learning the ropes and getting to know other sugar daters.
Some sugar relationships aren’t sexual or romantic at all, but that doesn’t make them any less affectionate or rewarding. There are plenty of people who consider themselves to be asexual or simply not interested in that side of a typical relationship, but they still love the idea of being emotionally close with someone else.
Sugar daters who go for platonic relationships like things friendly, fun, and fulfilling without any of the complications that can arise when taking things to another level. So, yes. If this is something you’d like or be open to, there’s room for you in the sugar bowl, too.
This type of sugar relationship has a lot in common with traditional dating situations in which the two people involved are really still working on getting to know one another. People in casual sugar relationships have generally been on a few dates. They know they like each other, and they’re excited to see where things go next, but they’re not quite ready to get serious yet.
This type of sugar relationship is great for new sugar daters who are still learning the ins and outs of the sugar bowl, as well as figuring out what they want to get out of sugaring, in general. They also provide excellent opportunities to get to know yourself as a sugar dater.
No Strings Attached
If you’re the type of traditional dater who honestly loves the single life and is happiest in relationships best described as “no strings attached” or “friends with benefits”, then you’ll be thrilled to know that the zero strings approach totally exists in the sugar bowl, too.
No strings sugar relationships let sugar daters experience the best of both worlds – the total freedom that comes with singlehood combined with the comfort, companionship, and connection that comes with having a partner. They’re great fits for people with very busy schedules, people who aren’t ready for relationships yet, and folks who simply like to keep things casual indefinitely.
This is often the next logical step two sugar daters will take after being casual or no-strings for a while but deciding they have a connection that’s worth exploring further. They let things evolve into something that more closely resembles a traditional relationship, but that still allowed both parties to continue exploring other possibilities.
Sugar daters in open relationships do feel a sense of commitment to one another. They may even feel they’ve fallen in love. However, there are also aspects of their relationship that are expressly non-exclusive, and it’s up to every sugar couple to sit down together and decide what that means for them.
This type of sugar relationship actually has a lot in common with the type of traditional relationship many people are used to. In fact, it may be indistinguishable from one to anyone who doesn’t know how the couple originally met. And, believe it or not, this is truly the type of relationship most sugar daters come to the sugar bowl hoping to eventually find.
In most cases, committed sugar relationships will be very serious, as well as monogamous. These two people have successfully transitioned through more casual approaches to sugaring. They’ve spent a lot of time together, as well as explored enough other options to know this is the one they want. They’re now focused on building a life together, settling into a routine, and enjoying the deep, nuanced love they’ve worked so hard to find and nurture.
Even in the sugar bowl, you’ll meet many people who are still traditionalists at heart, at least when it comes to how a permanent relationship should look. Those people will typically progress through a series of milestones that seem very similar to what a traditional couple would be interested in.
Once they’ve been in a serious, monogamous relationship a while, they might move in together. Eventually, they’ll become engaged, get married, and perhaps even have children if that’s something the couple is interested in. But as with marriages between traditional daters, one sugar marriage may look incredibly different from another.
How to Get Started Sugar Dating
So let’s say you’ve done your homework on sugar dating at this point. You’ve weighed your options and given some thought to what you want out of the sugaring experience. Now it’s time to dive in and give it a try for yourself. Here are some quick and dirty tips for getting started in the right direction.
Work on your sugar cred
Chance are, if you’re thinking serious about sugaring, you already have the basics down as far as what it takes to make it in the sugar bowl. But even the most polished person could probably use a little sprucing up before diving into the sugar bowl.
Sugar daters are top-tier people, and they’re most interested in others who are the same. So always look your best. Dress well, cultivate good taste, and make choices like someone who’s got their sites set on the very best things in life. Be intelligent, well-rounded, cultured, and good at holding your end of a conversation, as well.
Seek out opportunities
If you were a traditional dater who’s especially attracted to athletes and really wanted to date one, you’d start your journey by finding ways to spend more time where athletes hang out, right? You’d attend sporting events and social functions where athletes might be in attendance. You might even go out for a sport yourself.
The same logic applies to sugar dating. If you want to meet a sugar daddy or a sugar baby, start spending time in the kinds of places where high-value people hang out. Think upscale events, fancy places that cater to affluent people, and so forth. Affluent people also tend to congregate in or around big cities, desirably wealthy communities, etc.
Embrace online sugar dating
Don’t leave the internet out of the equation when it comes to your sugaring efforts. As with traditional online dating, online sugar dating is a great way to gain access to a wealth of different sugar daddies and sugar babies, as well as meet some great people, without always having to make room in your schedule (and budget) for a lot of socializing.
Choose a sugar dating site like SugarDaddyForMe.com or SugarSearch.com that’s well-run and packed with lots of sugar daters to mingle with. Create an account, fill out your profile, and upload a variety of photos. Then dig in, embrace the experience for all its worth, and have fun.
Take the initiative
Whether you’re sugaring offline the old-fashioned way, meeting potential dates online, or a combination of the two, don’t settle for just sitting back and waiting to see who approaches you. Be proactive. Keep your eyes peeled for fellow sugar daters that make you want to know more, and don’t be afraid to approach them.
A sugar dater is someone confident who knows they’ve got it all going on. They consider themselves to be stellar catches, and they conduct themselves that way.
Be smart about dating
Smart sugar daters understand how important safety is in every aspect of life, and this is no less the case when meeting up with a promising potential sugar match. Before agreeing to meet, do your homework on the person to make sure they really are who they say they are.
When you meet, make sure it’s in a public place that’s safe while leaving plenty of room for intimacy, like a nice restaurant. Take your own transportation or be prepared to order an Uber so that you don’t feel stuck should things not work out as planned. Use your best judgment at all times, and of course, have fun.
Be comfortable negotiating
Eventually, you’ll meet someone you like enough to want to keep seeing, and that’s when you’ll likely sit down to work out the terms of a potential sugar relationship. Make sure you know what you want and expect out of your would-be relationship, and don’t be afraid to ask for it outright.
And don’t be afraid to veto any terms your potential sugar partner puts on the table if they’re not going to work for you. Remember, satisfying sugar relationships are all about honesty and forthrightness, so get comfortable asking for and negotiating what you want.
Why You Should Embrace Online Sugar Dating
The further you dive into the sugar bowl and the more in love you fall with sugar dating, the more important it will become to establish a presence on a good sugar dating site. The major benefits of online sugaring include:
- It lets you sugar on your own terms and according to a schedule that’s convenient for you – no extraneous offline socializing necessary.
- You gain access to a wide range of different sugar partners and can easily explore possibilities with multiple prospects at once.
- An effective profile can help attract additional high-quality people who are looking for exactly the type of sugar dater you are.
- As compared to old-school ways of meeting and getting to know appropriate sugar partners, it’s extremely economical.
- It’s discreet, secure, and completely confidential. No one will know about your sugar dating life unless you decide to tell them.
- It’s something pretty much any serious sugar dater is doing, so your chances of meeting someone special are very high.
- It’s easy to search a sugaring site for exactly the kind of people you’d most like to meet, so you can be proactive about making the kinds of matches you really want.