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Sound Advice 

Will Scharf lays it out for you.

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Keelhaul is one of Cleveland's most inventive and pummeling metal bands. Now, drummer Will Scharf talks turkey.

What have you been listening to lately?
Bill collectors. People telling me I suck. My angry cats telling me they're hungry. My beer-starved belly after a dry shift at work. The sound of my boiler not working because the pilot won't stay lit. Myself coughing all night because I can't shake this fucking cold. The dull, thud-like sound of George Bush telling the country he knows what he's doing. And Breach, It's Me God and Godbox; Shooby Taylor (anything I can get my hands on); Cult of Luna, The Beyond; Eric Dolphy, Live at the Five-Spot; that new Coltrane record from '65; Soilent Green, Confrontation; Paul Samuels, Speak; Dave Holland Big Band, Overtime and What Comes Around; the John Bonham outtakes record; Earthworks, The Sound of Surprise; Cryptopsy, NoneSoLive; Kool Keith, Matthew; Tito Puente & Eddie Palmieri, Masterpeice Obra Maestra.

What are your top five, all-time-favorite drum solos?
Aren't drummers supposed to like drum solos? I must not be a real drummer. I hate drum solos. Bands that can't write songs have drum solos. With the possible exception of Led Zep's "Moby Dick" or Santana's "Soul Sacrifice," I usually can't see the point. There's gotta be some music going on to pique my interest; otherwise, it's just a bunch of noise and banging -- some retard trying to show how fast he can do triplets and spin his sticks.

What albums are guaranteed to clear the room?
That's a pretty long list, dude. At the top: Dave Matthews, U2, any of those garden-variety whiny emo bands that are so inexplicably popular these days, a large number of the bands that open for us on tour, a large number of the bands that we open for on tour, anything done by anyone who's ever been within 500 feet of Fred Durst. I could tell you more, but mostly I'd rather just leave the room than stick around to find out what it was that made me bolt in the first place. If there's beer in the room, though, I might just put in earplugs and suffer through it.

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