Emotions don’t follow a schedule. Sometimes, you need a good cry in the middle of the day, away from your bed, away from your bathroom floor. We found the best spots in the city for a good public sob that won’t cause too many passersby to question your motives. Because life is hard. Because life has recently been very hard. And because it’s good to get it out.
The Haserot Angel
12316 Euclid Ave.
The Haserot Angel is impossibly creepy and has black tears eternally streaming down its face. And if you’re the kind of person that’s emotionally unstable enough to be wandering the cemetery in the middle of the day, you probably are, too. Strength in numbers, people.
Photo via Angel of Death Victorious/WikimediaCedar Lee Theatre
2163 Lee Road
The indie and foreign movies that normally play at Cedar Lee are bleak as hell, so crying and this theater seems as natural a pairing as popcorn and melted butter. If you’re still feeling self conscious even under the cover of (bigger cineplex-style) movie theater darkness, pick a 3D film. Those bulky glasses were basically made for public bawling.
Photo via paulwbarnard/InstagramTom Johnson’s staute
Public Square, W. Superior Ave & Ontario St.
Tom Johnson is a shoulder to cry on. Tom Johnson is willing to listen to your problems. Tom Johnson is like Han Solo frozen in carbonite and isn’t going anywhere. Tom Johnson is here for you.
Photo via Tom L. Johnson/WikipediaThe RTA
Various stops throughout the city
The RTA may have its issues, but at least its riders follow the universal laws of public transportation: avoid eye contact with anyone under absolutely every circumstance. If you start crying on public transportation, it is an unspoken rule that everyone just pretends not to notice you.
Photo via TheeErin/FlickerFranklin Castle
4308 Franklin Blvd
This is supposedly the most haunted spot in all of Cleveland. So feel free to sob to your heart’s content. Any strange noises can be blamed on the ghosts.
Photo via Scene ArchivesCTOWN Crossfit
1678 Leonard St.
Here you’ll sweat so much you (and everyone else) won’t even be able to tell you’re crying anymore.
Photo via Bobahar/InstagramThe Steelyard Walmart
3400 Steelyard Dr.
The Steelyard Walmart has been bestowed the title of Worst Walmart in America on multiple occasions for the fact that it’s in a constant state of disarray and for its complete inability to make good choices and live up to its potential. If this sounds familiar, head on over and let it out in literally any aisle.
Photo via Scene Archives Credit: Scene ArchivesGreater Cleveland Aquarium
2000 Sycamore Street
The Greater Cleveland Aquarium is dark and secluded, which makes it a perfect place to bawl your eyes out hidden away from the judgemental gaze of any other human being, Plus, there are usually a ton of families around, meaning even more alone time as watchful parents try to keep their kids away from the person crying in the middle of the aquarium.
Photo by Emmanuel WallaceTower City
Because there will be literally no one around to watch you get it all out of your system. Credit: BedrockNelson-Kennedy Ledges State Park
12440 OH-282, Garrettsville
Covering 167 acres, this state park is known for its beautiful waterfalls and ledges that are great for jumping into the river. While you might not want to do that in the winter, the waterfalls are beautiful to see when frozen and there are four scenic trails to explore.
Photo via @MrLambert007/Instagram Credit:@MrLambert007/InstagramJack Casino
100 Public Square
For anyone who finds themselves with the irresistible urge to just start sobbing while in public, Jack Casino would be a good place to wander into. They’ve probably seen their fair share of breakdowns in the middle of their floor from people who have just gambled away their life savings, so you’ll fit right in.
Photo via Jack Cleveland Casino/WikipediaCredit:Photo by Emanuel WallaceYou will say you’re from Cleveland even if you’re from the suburbs Credit: Scene ArchivesChagrin Falls
If you’re a fan of quaint downtown areas, there’s nowhere better than Chagrin Falls, especially when it comes to seeing the fall colors, especially if you’re overlooking the Falls themselves. The drive here alone will be filled with beautiful scenery and this throwback downtown, filled with great shops and restaurants, is perfect for autumn.
Photo via Scene Archives Credit: Scene ArchivesDo Something (Safe) in the Metroparks
The Emerald Necklace is one of Northeast Ohio’s most treasured assets and the envy of tons of other big cities. There’s something for everyone. Walk, hike, bike, rollerblade, skip, jump, bird watch, sleep, picnic, lounge, golf — whatever. It’s nature, and it’s magnificent. Just don’t do anything too crazy when you’re high. Credit:Cuyahoga Valley Scenic Railroad/FacebookAnywhere
Various locations around the city
Let’s be honest. If you’re going to cry and you can’t keep it in until you get home, then you just have to let it happen. Throw on a pair of sunglasses or pretend it’s raining. You might get a bit of side eye from a passerby but just take comfort in knowing that they’re probably not thinking, “wow, is that person okay?”
Photo via Victoria BlackStone/Flickr
