The 20 Essential Cleveland Bars

We gather at bars to mourn, to celebrate, to kill time, to find love, to talk, to meet friends, to partake in shared experiences, to watch games, to play games. The actual drinking part is on the list somewhere, but it’s not really near the top — you can drink anywhere, after all. We choose our favorite watering holes for what they offer: maybe it’s selection, maybe it’s expertise, maybe it’s a friendly smile, maybe it’s nostalgia. Really, though, it’s for all of those reasons and more. A great bar feels like home and becomes a pal of sorts, the atmosphere being more than background noise, something that actually informs the experience and betters it.

Our essential bars, culled from many debates and more nights out than we can remember, represent Cleveland — the people who go there, the people who run them, the reasons that make them stand out from the rest, the reasons that keep us coming back time after time.

Any list like this is subjective, of course. We probably left off some joint that you consider indispensable. That’s part of the game, part of the great debate. But we do think it’s an inclusive list, one that represents not only the kind of drinking town that Cleveland was but the one it’s becoming. Take a gander and then drop us a line to let us know what you think we missed.

Edison’s

Tremont is a drinking neighborhood, even more than it’s a dining neighborhood, a reputation earned decades ago when it was a working-class enclave for the steel mills. It’s easy to bandy about the word “neighborhood” on a list like this — these places mean most to those who live nearby ­— but with Edison’s, it’s the best way to describe it. Sure, there’s the endless list of craft beers, which it was slinging before it became mandatory for every bar to offer 100 craft brews, but the draw is the comfort here. It’s dark and friendly, sports a beautiful back patio for the summer, welcomes our four-legged friends, and is focused not on TVs and distractions but booths where conversation is front and center.

Parkview Nite Club

Tucked away in Detroit-Shoreway, the Parkview has that hipster gleam ­— not by design, but just as the result of a long and storied tradition where nothing much changes. It’s family friendly, offers free music (catch Michael Bay and the Bad Boys of Blues Wednesday nights), sports a full menu of cheap bar favorites (get the friend asparagus), and feels small despite the large dining room. It’s been a blues club, a speakeasy, a corner bar and has remained some combination of all that since the Plonskis bought it in 1993. A cool place for shady people indeed.

Velvet Tango Room

Before bacon-infused this and artisanal bitter that and the revolution of the modern cocktail, the Velvet Tango Room was slinging incomparably good classic cocktails with little distinction and no ballyhoo. That changed, of course, as the VTR became the best-known secret in Cleveland — one with a set of rules for decorum issued by owner Paulius Nasvytis, which he instituted in 1996 after buying the building for just $35,000. When Duck Island blows up in the coming years, remember who set up shop there first.

Platform Brewery

Platform hasn’t even been open a year yet, but it’s already one of our favorite spots. Cleveland now sports some 357 breweries, by our last estimate, so it’s not easy to stick out. One way to do that is to go off the strip a bit, which is how Platform found its home down Lorain Avenue (we won’t call it NoLo, sorry). Owners Paul Benner and Justin Carson made the right call in tapping Shaun Yasaki as brewmaster, and the brews stemming from his work are worth the trip alone. Add in the perfect setting — open, bustling, communal — and it’s easy to see why Platform makes the list despite still being in its infancy.

Johnny’s Little Bar

It never really fit with the rest of the Warehouse District sect, and certainly not its friends down the street on West Sixth, but the little heaven that is Little Bar became a destination just for that reason. (And, well, one of the best burgers in Cleveland didn’t hurt either.) City and county employees, lawyers, aimless day-drinkers and everyone in between found a home here, where the lack of any natural light allows an escape into the dark and warm quarters of a place you can be seen, if you want, but left alone if that’s what you prefer.

Harbor Inn

Scene has a long, proud tradition with the Harbor Inn. It was the setting for just about every job interview for years and most of the staff has whiled away the hours there, meeting sources and talking stories. There’s a reason or two for that: One is Wally, the owner, the proud man who’s helmed the Harbor since the ’70s. The other reasons? They’re harder to nail down, but among them: It’s the oldest bar in Cleveland; it’s a shot and a beer bar in a town that’s moved away from that model; it’s cheap; it’s open early. It’s for sale now. So if you have some cash laying around, go buy the best thing in the Flats and save it for all of humanity.

Porco Tiki Lounge

Tiki lounges used to dot the downtown landscape decades ago. We’d heard stories of how great they were but really didn’t understand until Porco opened in Ohio City down by I-90. Authentic tiki cocktails with names like the Zombie and Painkiller fill the menu with apocryphal backstories of their origins. And those cocktails? Stuffed with at least two shots of booze in most cases, meaning one is more than enough most times. Add in the festive decorations and the off-the-beaten-path locale, and you can’t help but feel like you’ve stepped into another world entirely.

Tina’s Nite Club

A lot of places do karaoke. No one does karaoke like Tina’s. Or, to be more specific, Little Lou, who is your grandfather’s age and who runs the stereo rig on Wednesday and Thursday nights. Which isn’t to say the mic loses its luster any of the other nights, just that Little Lou is our favorite. Dig into the massive lists of bygone hits after you find the building, which is very much off the Detroit-Shoreway main drag and which takes unassuming to new levels, and belt out your guts in front of your fellow wannabe stars. Karaoke’s not the appetizer here. Karaoke is the reason the bar fills up every week. So come prepared to sing.

La Cave du Vin

It’s all about the mood here. Well, that’s not right. There’s the outstanding wine and beer selection too. But mainly it’s about the mood. Walk down the stairs and bottom out into a French-feeling underground nightclub where the tables are small and the first feeling is like discovering a secret. It’s cozy by the very definition of the word, which makes it feel nothing short of pure romance, which of course makes it a great spot for date night.

Mitzi Jerman’s Café

The temptation here is to call it a dive bar. The proprietors don’t much like that designation. But that’s what it’s been recognized for over the years by various national publications that found the best watering hole on the near-eastside. The East 30s and St. Clair probably isn’t the strip you’re used to frequenting, but that’s how we like it. Just cheap domestic beer and liquor here, no frills, just friends. It’s what Mitzi liked best, besides her beloved Indians. She passed at the age of 92 back in 2006, but that’s about the only change that’s happened here in 100 years.

Parnell’s

Lee Road and Coventry might be going through a bit of transition these days, but the next door over from the Cedar Lee has been stable and consistent for awhile now. That’s Parnell’s, run by Declan Synnott, who’s manning one of the best Irish joints in town. Whether it’s opening in the wee hours of the morning for the World Cup or simply shooting the shit from behind the bar, Declan is among the nicest guys you’ll ever share words with. And his pub reflects that friendliness and more. Did we mention it’s a great place to watch a soccer game?

Sachsenheim Hall

vYou probably don’t venture down Denison that often, except maybe as a short cut to get down the Metroparks reservation off Ridge Road. But the knowledgeable traveler knows it’s the location of the Sach, as it’s called, where steins of beer flow freely and the wing and taco nights cost just a few dollars. We love the resurgence of Eastern European drinking halls — Sterle’s, the soon-to-open Hansa beer garden — but this one’s been doing it without much fanfare for years. And for that, it deserves your love.

Brothers Lounge

We already mentioned Michael Bay and the Bad Boys of Blues. They play Parkview on Wednesday nights. Well, they play Brothers on Thursday nights. The rest of the week, of course, is littered with jazz and blues shows you won’t find anywhere else in town in this joint that rides the edge between classy and workingman. It’s about the music, and Brothers services that history in Cleveland by showcasing a ton of talented local acts as well as touring bands.

Becky’s

The Cleveland State University campus is becoming a real campus these days, a real urban university with sprigs of housing and businesses dotting Euclid and Chester and Prospect. Becky’s, over on East 18th, has been acting as the de-facto CSU meeting ground in the meantime, offering cheap draft beer, cheaper bar food, and somewhere students and eastside workers and university employees can commiserate over a bargain.

Edgewater Cafe

Owner Frank Spremull recently reopened Edgewater after the bar had been shuttered for some 18 years. As he told a reporter, he didn’t change anything in that time. It’s a time capsule from 1996, and really from before that, newly opened and preserved. There used to be food back in the day — a burger was $2.50 — but food isn’t in the plans now. There’s just cheap liquor and a place for friends to meet for a quick visit to the ’90s with Frank, who took the two decades off to run his two tire businesses.

Sunset Grille

Whiskey Island is Cleveland summer. And what’s surprising to us is how few Clevelanders have been there, let alone know about it. Edgewater is a beautiful beach now thanks to the Metroparks, which probably means more people will find Whiskey Island this year than ever before. But it’s a gem on its own, a bastion of under-the-sun daydrinking on the gorgeous shores of Lake Erie that will have you forgetting, at least temporarily, that you’re in Cleveland. And no bar on a beach is complete without live music, which you’ll find just about every night at the fabulous Sunset Grille.

Hofbräuhaus

Another newbie on the list; another great reason. Sure, Hofbräuhaus is technically part of a chain, but it’s more destination than chain. And walking through the doors to the giant beer hall (the weather hasn’t been nice enough to really enjoy the beer garden) is like walking into Munich for Oktoberfest. Except it’s Oktoberfest every day here. A live band alternates between German classics and polka-infused covers of modern pop; waitresses walk around with pretzels; patrons get on their feet and dance on their chairs; shots are downed courtesy of the “shotski”; plates of fat sausages emerge from the kitchen; everyone smiles and laughs and drinks and is generally as merry as they’ve ever been. Prost.

Shooter’s

It may well be a throwback to when the Flats was the Flats, as your parents knew it in the ’80s and ’90s, but what other bar on the banks of the Cuyahoga River offers unadulterated views of the wondrous landscape under the sun? It’s a Cleveland tradition, one of the best people-watching experiences on a weekend, and a great place to convince your significant other that it’s time to buy a boat. Even if that discussion doesn’t go in your favor, you’ll have a couple of beers and watch other people use their boats, which is almost as fun.

Townhall

Townhall isn’t one bar exactly. Sure, it’s got one physical location, but what you encounter inside depends on the day and time. There’s the coffee shop crowd that takes advantage of the cafe. And there is the lunch crowd, taking advantage of Townhall’s extensive vegan and vegetarian options. And then there’s the dinner crowd. And the folks who enter to watch a Cavs game or drain away an afternoon in the pleasant open-air layout. And then, of course, there’s the evening crowd, which turns Townhall into a better version of what West Sixth used to be on Friday and Saturday nights. Not quite a nightclub, but as close to a nightclub as Ohio City gets.

Fairmount Martini & Wine Bar

It takes a nice bit of skill to walk the line between craft cocktail destination and corner bar. The Fairmount does just that for the eastside, and the scores of Clinic personnel and college students and young professionals who make its patio a boisterous backyard party in the summer know that the bar walks that line skillfully. An impressive menu of classic and modern cocktails and a short if not well-rounded craft beer list await, along with a similarly short but well-rounded food menu, make the Fairmount a one-stop shop of sorts that caters to everyone without coming off patronizing.

The next 10 on the list, if you were curious: 16-Bit, Side Quest, Major Hoopples, Butcher and the Brewer, Now That’s Class, Bottlehouse, Ugly Broad, Public House, Nano Brew and Mahall’s.

This article appears in Mar 11-17, 2015.