Word is spreading across social media among some of the former Speak In Tongues associates — and many others — that Zach Germaniuk’s Telecaster was stolen out of his car earlier this week. You know Germaniuk from the likes of Rubber Mate, Pillars and Vivora and other outfits around town.

The sticker on this guitar says: “GOD HAS TWELVE DICKS.” So, you know, keep an eye out for that message.

(One supposes that the guitar could also have, like, a sticky residue in the shape and location of that sticker.)

Stay vigilant!

This article appears in Aug 24-30, 2016.

Eric Sandy is an award-winning Cleveland-based journalist. For a while, he was the managing editor of Scene. He now contributes jam band features every now and then.