Issue 5: What Follows the Smoking Ban?

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Howie Chizek: Leading the fight against small children.
WNIR's Howie Chizek -- the man who claims to have invented the talk show format while Rush Limbaugh was "still in Pampers" -- has been on fire for the past couple of days. The 100.1 FM afternoon talk show host is up in arms over Issue 5, which, if passed, would ban smoking in all public places in Ohio. Several WNIR hosts have been asking listeners who've already voted absentee to call in and pipe up on how they cast their ballots. Most callers have been reporting that they've voted yes on Issue 5. This is a fact that doesn't comfort Chizek. Since Monday, he's been offering hour-long tirades, proposing that if smoking is to be banned from public places, infants should be banned as well. "Smoking's not good for your health they say? Well I say your children aren't good for my health!" he argued on Tuesday. "Your screaming baby causes me stress!" Chizek argues that the amount of fecal matter introduced into the atmosphere of restaurants by small children is just as hazardous as secondhand smoke. He also claims that crying babies are a source of stress that can result in fatal heart attacks. He is calling for a ban on all children under the age of 5 from eating establishments, as well as airplanes. One caller responded, "I'm with you 90 percent." Another claimed Chizek was insane. Tune in for the best comedy around. -- Denise Grollmus

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