Film Capsules

Small summaries for when you just don't have time for long ones

The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (PG-13)

Super Size Me filmmaker Morgan Spurlock sets up his new movie's premise right off the bat: He'll fund a documentary about branding, marketing, and product placement in the entertainment world, and it will be financed by corporate sponsors. He'll sell naming rights! He'll only wear shoes or stay in the rooms or drink the beverages of companies that fund his film! Spurlock gleefully sells himself and his idiotic idea throughout the movie, and the rare instances when he feels compelled to talk about his original point, he interviews either people who know little about the subject or the usual social-commentary suspects. The Greatest Movie Ever Sold may be the most pointless, indulgent, incurious documentary ever made. (Justin Strout)

Bill Cunningham New York (NR) — Since the late 1970s, photographer Bill Cunningham has documented street fashions for The New York Times. He appears to spend every waking moment in the streets, in the Times offices obsessively organizing his page, and running around to events at night. In scene after scene, he looks like he's still having more fun than anybody else in the room. Cunningham may have sacrificed a few customary creature comforts, but he has lived doing something that brings him absolute joy. We should all be so lucky. (Bret McCabe)

Bridesmaids (R) — Though it tries too hard by piling on the vulgarity to prove it's not your grandma's chick flick, this Judd Apatow-produced comedy still has more laughs than The Hangover. Much credit goes to co-writer and star Kristen Wiig, who plays bride-to-be Maya Rudolph's aggrieved BFF and maid of honor. After being usurped by rich bitch Rose Byrne during pre-wedding festivities, Wiig's unlucky-in-love-and-just-about-everything-else Annie doesn't get mad — she gets even. But typical Apatowian excess almost brings Bridesmaids down, and the third act's incessant wheel-spinning quickly grows as exhausting as most real-life wedding receptions. (Milan Paurich)

Everything Must Go (R) — Will Ferrell demonstrates his capability for dramatic acting as Nick, a salesman who is fired for chronic alcoholism and arrives home to find his wife gone, locks changed, and all his possessions on the lawn. Camped outside on his recliner and chugging endless beers, Nick enlists the help of a neglected neighborhood kid, in conducting the yard sale of his life. Although many things happen, the film remains quiet and relatively static, staying true to Carver's brevity and theme of lonely alcoholic desperation. (Pamela Zoslov)

Fast Five (PG-13) — In yet another Fast and the Furious sequel, the original crew (Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, et al.) heads to Rio to orchestrate an Italian Job-style heist that could just as easily have been staged in Santa Monica. The fifth entry in this decade-old boys-and-toys franchise is just loud and mindless enough to satisfy the fan base, but it probably won't win any new admirers. (Paurich)

Prom (PG) — Aimed at teenage girls (and maybe their nostalgic moms), this Disney flick crams in just about every romantic-comedy cliché in the book. First, there's a squeaky-clean class president and prom organizer (Aimee Teegarden), who just wants everyone to have an unforgettable night. When things don't work out with her date, she falls for the school's biker bad boy (Thomas McDonell), who's really super-soft underneath his tough-guy exterior. Breakups and make-ups take place as prom nears, but by the end, all dramas are resolved so the big dance can go off without a hitch. (Jeff Niesel)

Something Borrowed (R) — When attorney Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) sleeps with law-school crush Dex (Colin Egglesfield), it should be the start of a beautiful romance ... or at least a fun fling. Unfortunately, since Dex is already engaged to Rachel's high-maintenance best friend Darcy (Kate Hudson), their stealth affair is actually a lot closer to an old-fashioned bedroom farce. Director Luke Greenfield stumbles with this almost completely charmless romantic comedy, which blows its appealing cast by making characters either clueless dolts or divas. (Paurich)

Thor (PG-13) — The hammer-wielding god of thunder stumbles in his movie debut. Director Kenneth Branagh attempts to bring his impeccable sense of Shakespearean heft to the Marvel Comics realm, but doesn't quite succeed. Thor (Chris Hemsworth), his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston), and mortal pal Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) never seem more than comic-book cutouts here. With any luck, next year's Avengers will bring out Thor's thundering potential. (Justin Brenis)

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