Another reason old guys should leave the rockin’ to the young dudes.
Paula Abdul prepares for a life of post-Idol batshit craziness.
Looks like Rihanna-beater Chris Brown will have to find another company to whore himself out to.
Like his last couple of albums, Michael Jackson’s insurance policies are worthless.
Britney Spears will show up at Teen Choice Awards. Hopefully she won’t flash her cooter. —Michael Gallucci
This article appears in Aug 5-11, 2009.