“Besides the obvious concerns of security and safety, the clubs that get my repeat buisness are the ones that keep the cover around $5 or less and the drinks even cheaper. (I buy more, get looser, and end up spending everything I brought with me!) A small, sober crowd seems to drag a place down, while a large, drunk crowd seems like a party!”

— Keith S. from Lakewood

“Guest lists need to be respected. And when acts don’t start on time, the club should have something to occupy the crowd, like Jell-O, K-Y jelly bikini-wrestling, or wet T-shirt and thong contests. Or they can promote heavy drinking in the form of chug contests or beer-bong races for free admission the following week. And if that doesn’t work, have an eight-mile freestyle contest, or just breakdance.”

— Dennis from Torne

“Two words: free drinks.”

— Pants P., Cleveland

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