My girlfriend says she can’t take another winter of watching me sit
around on Saturdays munching on Cheetos and watching nonstop
M*A*S*H reruns. It’s time to get active, she says — we’re
going skiing.
Skiing? I always thought the sport was just an excuse for rich
people to hang out in fake resort cities and buy lots of expensive ski
fashion. That might not be my scene, but the thought of listening to
“Suicide Is Painless” over and over doesn’t sound too enticing, come to
think of it. So skiing might not be a bad thing. And, after doing some
research, I found out that learning to ski doesn’t have to be
expensive.
If there’s one thing I learned in the half-hour I spent trying to
ski last season, it’s that every inch of your body needs to be shielded
if you don’t want to end up with a soggy ass. But don’t buy into
marketing hype: You can get perfectly good waterproof threads at a
local thrift store or at your favorite discount retailer. I recommend
TJ Maxx (tjmaxx.com), but remember
— it’s a “close-out” chain, so it can be hit or miss. However,
they’re pretty consistent with major markdowns on name-brand ski
gloves, masks, goggles, jackets, thermal undershirts, socks, helmets
and the like.
Now it’s time to hit the slopes! Don’t want to pay for a lift
ticket? Since your first few attempts will consist of falling on your
ass and rolling around like a beached baby whale, you could just try
sliding down any decent-sized sledding hill on a snowy day. If you’re a
cross-country skier, the Cleveland Metroparks (clemetparks.com) have myriad trails to
suit you, but beware: Downhill skiing is not recommended on their
sledding hills. Snowboarding is OK, though; some of their hills are
even lit at night.
However, this would require having your own equipment. If you feel
confident enough to invest in a pair of skis at this point, buy an
inexpensive used beginner set at a local ski shop or at Play it Again
Sports, with six locations in Greater Cleveland (playitagainsports.com).
If you’re not confident in your ability to figure out this skiing
thing on your own or don’t want to buy skis, your best bet is to check
out a local ski resort. The most affordable is Alpine Valley, a
family-run place in Chesterland (10620 Mayfield Rd., 440.285.2211,
alpinevalleyohio.com). It’s
a pretty puny “mountain,” but great for just starting out. You can
get a lift ticket, ski rental and a lesson for $32 (it’s even cheaper
without the lesson or the rental). You can also get a season pass
for less than $200. Other local (though slightly more expensive)
options: Boston Mills (7100 Riverview Rd., Peninsula, bmbw.com) and Brandywine (1146 W. Highland Rd.,
Sagamore Hills, bmbw.com). Take note:
Boston Mills is holding a “learn to ski” event on February 7, where you
get a lift ticket, rental and a lesson for $45. At regular price,
all those things would add up to $87. But since Boston Mills and
Brandywine are owned by the same company, one ticket gets you into both
resorts. This might matter once you’re able to fit in more than one run
in a two-hour period. (It can take a while when your body is dragging
behind the skis.)
After taking a few lessons and mastering the bunny hill, it’s time
to join a ski club. There are 25 ski clubs in Northeast Ohio that are
part of the Cleveland Metro Ski Council. There’s something for
everyone. The Inner City Ski Club meets in Shaker Heights and works to
get more minorities and those who live in the inner city to take up
skiing (innercityskiclub.org). Fagowees is a
large ski club that throws great parties, and meets in Cleveland’s Old
Brooklyn neighborhood (fagowees.org). Some are more focused on
family-friendly activities or fancy ski vacations. Find a full list of
Metro Ski Council clubs at skicleveland.com.
Now that you’re gaining skills, maybe you’ve decided it’s time to
invest in some high-performance skis. Check out a local ski shop like
Geiger’s, which has locations in Lakewood and Chagrin Falls (shopgeigers.com). If snowboarding is your
thing, you might try a shop that’s better known for selling
skateboards; their prices can sometimes be lower. Try Ohio Surf and
Skate in Willoughby (36495 Vine St., 440.975.1933, ohskate.com). Skiers may even be interested
in the deals they have on goggles, ski wax, and trendy
snowboarder-style pants and jackets.
All your hard work has finally paid off. It’s time to go on an
exotic ski trip. Check out skicleveland.com for deals on group
trips, which can cut the price quite a bit. This year, the
council is organizing trips to Aspen in February and Taos in March.
And, who knows, maybe you’ll meet hot Nordic types in the hot tub.
It’ll be exactly like in Snow Patrol, trust me.
This article appears in Nov 25 – Dec 1, 2009.