Jhonny Peralta is to a Dying Horse as Joe Borowski Was to a Dying Horse

To the glue mill you go, old boy.
  • To the glue mill you go, old boy.

Jhonny Peralta needs to go away. I know it's a drum that has been beaten in recent weeks, but his play has truly reached some deplorable and inexcusable levels. It reminds me of something I wrote about Joe Borowski when it was clear the old horse of a closer needed to go away also.

My mother’s parents lived on a farm in Farmer City, Illinois. Population 2055, according to the 2000 census. We’d go out there once or twice a year to visit, frolic in the middle of nowhere, and check out what the whole farming life was like. My grandfather had a horse named Pinky that had been around since my mother was a child. Pinky was small and generally useless, but she was great with kids, prancing around eating grass and taking us out for rides to look at silos and such. She was good with kids — for a while. ... There came a distinct point when you knew Pinky was too damn old and went beyond uselessness territory and straight into being dangerous.

There were a lot of us grandkids, so Pinky worked hard. If you happened to be at the end of the line to board the pony, you were taking a chance that she was old, tired, worn out and pissed off. I found myself in that unlucky position once. I climbed on, she took off on a death sprint. Her mission seemed to be to kill you, and if she broke her legs trying, that just meant the sweet release of death would come all the sooner, and at the very least, the rest of the kids would be too scared to saddle up anymore. My grandfather eventually saw this, and knew there was no hope that Pinky would return to her sweet ole self. Pinky was old; Pinky needed to go.

There's really few areas where Jhonny hasn't actively caused the Indians to lose ball games. Three-run errors? He's got it. Regular errors? Of course. Epic hitting slumps? Yep. His patented late-season surge during meaningless games when he makes his numbers look somewhat respectable even though there's no pressure and nothing on the line and we all want to kill him still? I'm sure that's in the forecast as well.

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Vince Grzegorek

Vince Grzegorek has been with Scene since 2007 and editor-in-chief since 2012. He previously worked at Discount Drug Mart and Texas Roadhouse.
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