On Highway Election Graffiti, Trump, Clinton, Gods and Penises

click to enlarge On Highway Election Graffiti, Trump, Clinton, Gods and Penises
Emanuel Wallace

Just outside of Cleveland, on I-77 at mile 158, there is a train overpass. The overpass is a deep, rusted brown, which makes it a brilliant backdrop for the bright white graffiti that’s been scrawled across it for motorists to see and admire.

There are two distinct messages on this train overpass: one for those headed south on I-77, and another for those who are headed north. Those speeding towards 480, or the turnpike, or Akron, may view the all-caps statement “TRUMP IS GOD.” Those headed north into Cleveland receive the more esoteric image of the crude outline of a penis spitting comically large drops of sperm aimed at the word “CLINTON.”

What can we make of this brave piece of public art? The artist must have worked quickly, at night, standing on the lip of the overpass, one missed footstep away from falling onto the rushing highway below. They must have stood there, holding fast to the bridge with one hand, can of white spray paint in the other, their blood thrumming in their ears as they hurriedly sprayed out their message of religion and hope and sexual awakening. It took some gumption to make this statement so publicly, at such personal risk.

Let’s start with the I-77 south statement “TRUMP IS GOD.” Oh. OK. At first I thought the artist was saying that Trump is a god, like a demigod whose father was Zeus disguised as a swan and whose mother was bathing in a river one day when she encountered that swan, and you know what happened next – (hopefully consensual) magic. But there’s no “A” present - it doesn’t say “TRUMP IS A GOD” the way you would say “BRAD IS A GOD” after he does a keg stand for a full two minutes. It says “TRUMP IS GOD.” The statement doesn’t allow for the existence of demigods, or many gods. This three word sentence states that there is only one God, and His name is Donald Jiggelybits Trump.

I see why this artist would come to this conclusion. Whenever you read the Bible, “Donald Trump” immediately comes to mind. Love your neighbor as yourself? If by “neighbor” you mean “Vladimir Putin” then yes, he’s right there. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife? Absolutely – so therefore covet her on the side for a few months until you can divorce your current wife and then marry your neighbor’s wife so as to stop the coveting as soon as possible. It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the gates of heaven? Trump personally contributes so little to charity, and pays so few taxes, that he is obviously a very poor man. What a refreshing update to current Christian theology. God is alive, here and now, and he has hotels and ties and steaks and a casino and he’s going to bless us with a wall and spray tans for all.

While the southbound lanes are privy to a pro-Trump statement, the northbound lanes appear to be decidedly anti-Clinton. But are they? There’s a penis, seemingly erect, seemingly excited to the point that its owner has achieved orgasm and therefore sperm, the result of that orgasm, is flying through the air and landing on the word “CLINTON.” So – the artist has a hard-on for Hillary. He likes what she’s done with her hair and would really like to “get to know the candidate.” He knows that this 68-year-old woman has what it takes to not only get America hard, but to get America off. That is quite impressive. But we must admit that this artwork doesn’t clarify which Clinton we’re talking about. Could it be Bill that gets this penis so hot and bothered? With his perpetually bouncy step and his visible glee around balloons? Bill Clinton, that old fox, keeping the youth interested.

Truth is, we will never know the artist's true intent. And I may be reading far too much into this. The artist may simply be reminding us that when we play euchre, trump cards are of utmost importance and that Hilary Clinton has had sex with a man and is therefore unfit to be president. Politically motivated train overpass graffiti doesn't have to have a deeper meaning. All I can say to the artist, wherever they may be, is please, if you decide to ever again share your views with the world again via highway graffiti take a moment, take a breath, and write your bullshit nonsense on Facebook instead just like everyone else.
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