If you’ve strolled between Huron and Prospect near East Fourth in the past week and gotten confused because your eyes confirm that you’re in fact in downtown Cleveland but your nose seems to hint that you’re on a Brazzers studio set, you’re not alone.
That semen-y smell is coming from aggressively floral Bradford pear trees, which have bloomed and indicated that spring is coming all over Cleveland.
Their popularity has waned since first being introduced in America from their native China some 70 years ago before everyone realized that not only is the funk of jizz not something anyone wanted around but that the species turned out to be quite virile. It’s now considered an invasive species and does little more than emit foul smells.
As our good pals at Scene’s sister paper in St. Louis noted in 2017 upon the premature arrival of spring, if everyone remains dead set on ecological calamity and screwing over humanity, we might as well smell like it.
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This article appears in Apr 17-23, 2019.
Probably my favorite article in Scene, ever. Thank you, Vince, for finally acknowledging this rancid springtime scent. Bravo!
What a disgusting headline. Not surprised it came from Vince. What a pathetic peasant
Whats more disgusting is the scene allowed it to go online. Total sickness at the scene
Get rid of Vince Snd Allard
College rag? Hell…even high schools wouldn’t publish stuff like this. This sounds like something from middle school kids who have just discovered the word “jizz”…who gave the okay to run this crap?
You all are pussys and I blame your parents for being offended by this article
You’re the biggest pussy here, because you’re too damn dumb to know how to spell “pussies”…
Just because your pals in St. Louis write stupidly doesn’t mean you have to copy their style…
Lmao the offense in here at a word
So many things happening in Cleveland…good and bad…and they choose to write about “trees that smell like jizz”…and these are supposedly adults, some of whom even went to prestigious schools of journalism.
Still shaking my head in disbelief. They must have been high…but even that is not an excuse.