Have you been feeling bicurious lately and don’t know where to begin? Depending on where you live and your social circle, you may feel nervous to begin exploring bisexual dating. You may feel like you are too old to have crushes on a woman for the first time or you may feel too young to know if you’ve got your sexuality figured out. Maybe you have begun having feelings for other men but aren’t sure what to do with those complicated feelings. Wherever you are on the sexuality spectrum, it’s important to know that there is no linear path to choosing your queer identity. You may find that you are attracted to the same sex, opposite sex or to someone who identifies as nonbinary. You may find that you would like a cisgender lover of the same orientation as you or that you’d like someone who identifies outside of the gender and sexuality spectrum altogether. With all of the terms, it can be hard to wade through the wording to find who you are. In this article, we’ll talk about the exciting journey of bisexual dating!

First things first, truly consider if you are interested in having a sexual or romantic relationship with someone of the same sex and gender. So much of our media details the perspectives of straight people, so it can be hard to know what feelings of same sex or bisexual attraction could look like. Start to investigate your experiences – did you ever have a friend, coworker or acquaintance that you were interested in that felt charged or exciting? Did you get butterflies around this person? Did you pick out particular outfits or make certain aesthetic choices because you knew they would be at a social event or function? When you think about this special person, did you ever imagine situations that could become erotically charged or sexual in nature? If you think about kissing this person, does that bring you delight or disgust? These indicators of attraction might give you insight in if you are bisexual.

If you’ve been thinking through your sexuality for a while, the next best step might be to try and date someone of the same gender or explore dating a couple. Only begin trying this step if you feel very comfortable. It may be kind to let your potential romantic or sexual partners know that you are exploring. Share your sexual expectations and what your boundaries are. Letting others know what your expectations are helps them decide if they are interested in dating you. While the initial sting of rejection might feel uncomfortable, it is much better than dragging on a relationship where neither party is getting what they want or expect. Communication is an important practice that is especially critical in bicurious dating. If it feels a little nerve-wracking, just remind yourself that all good communication will help you grow and will benefit all of your future relationships.

You may not be sure where to meet other people who are bicurious. You can always go to queer social events in your area, connect with queer organizations or find a bisexual dating site like BiCupid.com. If you feel intimidated to begin your dating journey in person, we recommend joining a dating site. Dating sites are a great place to interact with other queer people from all over the country. You may find that the queer dating scene varies wildly from your experiences with dating straight people. Because sexuality is fluid, you may find that people online may be more open to talk about their sexual and romantic preferences. While you might not find someone as attractive as a potential lover, you might enjoy the conversations that you have. Just because you are bisexual doesn’t mean that you have to have an instant attraction to anyone who likes you. It’s okay to find that in some circumstances, you may enjoy someone’s company as a friend.

Once you begin going on dates, you can finally decide where you fall on the sexuality spectrum. If you’re bisexual, you might find a lot of pride in beginning to date men, women and nonbinary folks. It can be really euphoric to finally feel like you’ve figured out a large part of who you are and you are definitely going to want to celebrate by dating!

Dating as a bisexual can be a lot of fun. You should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable and should engage with dating however is most exciting to you. Many people may have told you certain rules that come along with dating. These rules can be about when you should sleep with someone or move in with them. While it’s always good to listen to the advice of trusted friends, remember that your sexuality and dating experience is completely your own. As long as you are not hurting yourself or others and are practicing safe dating, you are welcome to engage in sexual and romantic activities however you like. If this kind of freedom is scary to you, think about the couples that inspire you. These could be fictional characters, real people you know, celebrities or even friends of friends. What are some of the things about their dating experience that you would like to emulate? You are allowed to be as free or as reserved as your personality dictates. While many people may tell you what they think is best, it is really up to you to decide what kind of dating life you would like.

If you do decide to engage in sexual relationships with bisexual people, it’s best to make sure that you are using protection, disclosing any STIs or STDs and talking openly about your sexual preferences and boundaries. If you decide to engage in high-risk behaviors like sex or sex parties, always make sure that you are avoiding any unwanted consequences like STDs or pregnancy. Practicing safe sex is important no matter what your sexuality may be. Do not let anyone pressure you into engaging high-risk behaviors if you don’t want to or aren’t ready.

As a bisexual, your family members may not quite understand your experience. They may see you dating partners of the opposite gender and assume that you are straight. Bisexuality is a superpower that remains hidden when in a heterosexual relationship. If you do choose to be in a heterosexual relationship, this may be confusing for older folks or friends who don’t have an open mind. If anyone chooses not to recognize your identity, you can correct them or avoid them. Unfortunately, not everyone is openminded and accepting. While it may feel like your problem, it actually says much more about those people than it does about you. You are perfect and acceptable just as you are.

Bisexuals have been around since the beginning of the time. You are proudly a member of artists, musicians, historians, activists and every day people who are bisexual. We are so excited for you as you start this exciting journey and hope that this article has been helpful in giving you good advice as you go forward. Join our community on BiCupid and meet other singles who are ready and waiting for you!


This article appears in Jun 28 – Jul 11, 2023.