Uproxx, with seemingly nothing better to do than pour through Shaq Diesel's ill-fated rap career, has come up with some startling facts about the Big Rapper's career in the studio and at the mic.
One of the startling facts: Shaq's rap stint wasn't as ill-fated as we all remember it to be.
Fun facts covered: Shaq went platinum, Shaq rapped with some rap heavyweights, Shaq's freestyling, and this:
2. Shaq’s Recorded With Michael Jackson
You’re not a fan of Shaq’s music? F*ck you. Michael Jackson likes him. And Michael Jackson’s life is worth 7,000 you’s and three Farrah Fawcetts, so unless you have Farrah’s DNA in your condom drawer, I suggest you bow down and praise the Shaqticles.
When Michael Jackson was feeling berated and angry at the media, he developed an edge and launched back with his History album. Who better to bring home MiJack’s new badassness than Shaq? An excerpt from Shaq’s verse:
“Reality brings forth realism”- Indeed. Other lines he considered from that verse includes: “imagining brings forth imagination,” “faking brings forth fakery” and “just die now, English language.” But something had to rhyme with twism. Duh.
“Grab my crotch, twist my knee, then I’m through”- This is why you have to always stretch before you grab your crotch. Last time I grabbed my crotch, I pulled my hamstring. The time before that, I was tasered by the park rangers. In conclusion, no I don’t know what the f*ck he’s talking about.
Follow me on Twitter: @vincethepolack.
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