Things we know: The Indians are broke. The Tribe, playing on the same night as the Cavs, might as well not exist. The Indians are really taxing their mental capacities trying to come up with gimmicks, discounts, and assorted giveaways to get somebody, anybody, through the turnstiles and into a seat.
How pathetic have things gotten? Oh, pretty damn pathetic. Let's venture back to Saturday night's affair to find out what one lucky fan got in a giveaway.
Out at the Batter's Eye (not calling it the Ridgid Jobsite, no matter what you tell me), one lucky fan was invited to play cornhole for a chance to win tickets to the "Fan Cave." The cave, by the way, is just a suite that the Indians have managed to not sell any tickets for, so they've converted it into a place where you can do a bunch of fun things instead of watching baseball, like play pool and watch Two and a Half Men.
Anyway, I digress. This lucky fan got three throws at the cornhole board, and didn't connect on a single one, meaning their dreams of a "Fan Cave" experience would have to wait for another night (let's be honest, sheer numbers suggest if you actually show up at a game this year you'll be invited to participate in one of these games).
Their prize for participation? A Whitesnake CD.
Really. Whitesnake, who last put out an album back when the Tribe were wearing red hats still.
Apparently they were fresh out of Ace of Base discs.
God bless you, Larry Dolan. You sure run one high-class organization.
Follow me on Twitter: @vincethepolack.
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